Archive for January, 2007

January 29, 2007

THIS WHITE GIRL WANTS TO SPOIL MY BLACK NAME!

January 21, 2007

O SUNKUN O!
(As the YORUBA would say!)
“I AM CRYING OUT!)
This blonde white girl at interracial-blonde.com/blackmen.html
has gone and used my BLACK NAME and hooked it up with her porno flick of a Black man eating
her white blonde self!
I CLICKED on my name on Google search and got this her white slander!
Fortunately for her I AM A BLACK CHRISTIAN SCIENTIST!
IN Christian Science we deal with any ILLUSION OF evil with prayer!The Black Bible(FOR it has more Black people in it than white or yellow!)says ‘FORGIVE your enemies..bless those who curse you..well I MUST pray so I CAN FORGIVE this white girl for she has truly trIed to curse me,for her to do such a thing to my BLACK NAME. But it is well Olodumare(G0D in Yoruba) is in control…

THIS BROTHER NOVELIST/ACTOR BELIEVES POLYGAMY IS THE ANSWER TO BLACK WOMEN’S PROBLEM!

January 21, 2007


Women Love Omar Tyree, Whose Novels Aren't "Fairy Tales"
By Tera Hodges
Black College Wire (FROM blackcollegewire.org)

Photo credit: http://www.omartyree.com
Omar Tyree asks "why good women love bad men."
Although Omar Tyree has written 12 novels, he is most known for "Flyy Girls." At the mention of the title during a lecture at Florida A&M University, women began to clap and cheer in adoration.

Tyree used the moment to address what he considers to be a problem with women in the black community.

"'Flyy Girls' was one of my best sellers. It was about a woman who made all the wrong choices. She's a sister in the 'hood," he said. "But in the follow-up, I allow the main character to mature and graduate from college with a master's degree, and I received negative e-mails from sisters all over saying they couldn't relate."

"Why is it that you all can relate to the hood, but not a master's degree?," Tyree asked the audience.

As a lecturer, Tyree describes his goal as "educating blacks, as well as other cultures, on the present, past and future struggles of African people in America."

In his talk before a half-filled theater at FAMU, his topics ranged from his books, such as "For the Love of Money" and "Single Mom," to the psychological state of black people in America.

"Nothing I write is a fairy tale," said Tyree, recipient of an NAACP Image Award for outstanding work of fiction. "I write real stuff because I am a real person."

Tyree acknowledged that his book "College Boy" mirrors his college experience at the University of Pittsburgh, a predominantly white school.

"I was the Laurence Fishburne character in Spike Lee's 'School Daze.' I was a revolutionary Afrocentric black man. I felt as if I was an island, with no one to relate to," he said.

He also said he believes polygamy is the solution for improving the black family.

"People such as Michael Jordan can afford to have more than one household, with more than one wife. There could be more privileged black children if wealthy, successful, black men were able to marry more than one woman," he said.

Tyree posed for pictures, signed autographs and sold books.

"After I release 'Cold Blooded' in August, I want to come back and have a session where men and women can go at it concerning why good women love bad men," he said.

Some said they would come back to hear him.

"I didn't like everything he said, but overall, he is a great writer," said Kia Folsom, a junior broadcast student from Cincinnati.

Tera Hodges, a student at Florida A&M University, writes for The Famuan. She may be contacted at terahodges@yahoo.com.

Posted April 16, 2004

http://www.blackcollegewire.org/culture/040415_tyree/

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THIS RASTA SISTER EXPLAINS POLYGAMY

January 20, 2007

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Polygamy
As a choice for the Black Family
Reissue 3 Volume 1: Autumn 2002
By Empress Tsahai

“Today the women of the world are not content to live as housewives. In most countries they are striving harder and harder for higher education so that they may participate in the civic duties for their community and nation. In time of war, women like men, have served their country, and in some of them they have fought side by side with the men against the enemy.”

– Words of His Imperial Majesty Emperor Haile Sellassie 1
Contrary to popular belief, sex is not the primary focus of polygamy. It is grounded in the principle of collectivity / village / oneness which is the foundation of the success of Afrikan civilization. I am not here to promote polygamy nor chant it down. But it cannot be deemed as unrighteous by any sense, not spiritually, biblically, economically, socially, culturally, etc.

In these times, when the Black Family finds itself in absolute chaos, under this western system / culture / order, polygamy needs to be discussed and reviewed, as a Nation, for we are today more fragmented then ever. There are many more women to men, why should one sistah be honored, provided for and protected, while the other be dishonored by being neglected and relegated to being “my baby’s mama”. Why shouldn’t we pull our resources together, strengthen the Kingman, and give the youths extra security? Why shouldn’t we consider returning to our ancient traditions, especially when we have seen the results of Western culture? It is simply amazing to me that sistahz grudgingly accept that men “cheat” and dishonor them, but absolutely reject our ancient tradition, where economics are shared, work is shared, motherhood is shared, and things are done in the light, with honesty and balance. Why fight something which may prove to be beneficial to us all as a collective? Oh…how the western mind has poisoned us to accept his devilish philosophies, and deny the ways of our ancestors.

“For the hurt of the daughter of my people am I hurt; I am Black; astonishment hath taken hold of me.”

From the book Facing Mt. Kenya by Jomo Kenyatta:

“After a man has had the first wife, “nyakiambi”, a year or so generally passes, and then HIS WIFE starts to question him about getting a second wife, especially if she is expecting a child or immediately after she has had one. “My husband, don’t you think it is wise for you to get me a companion (moiru)? Look at our position now. I am sure you will realize how God has been good to us to give us a nice and healthy baby. For the first few days I must devote all my attention to nursing our baby. I am weak…I can’t go to the river to bring water nor to the field to bring some food, nor to weed our gardens. You have no one to cook for you. When strangers come you have no one to entertain them. I have no doubt that you realize the seriousness of the matter. What do you think of the daughter of So-and-SO? She is beautiful and industrious and people speak highly about her and her family. DO NOT FAIL ME, my husband. Try to win her love. I have spoken to her and found that she is very interested in our homestead. In anything that I can do to help you I am at your service, my husband. Even if we have not enough sheep and goats for the dowry, our relatives and friends will help you so that you can get her into our family. You are young and healthy and this is the best time for us to have healthy children and so enlarge our family group, thereby perpetuate our family name after you and I have gone. My husband, please act quickly as you know the Kikuyu saying: “Mae megotherrera mondo onyotie” (The flowing water of the river does not wait for a thirsty man”)

The husband then, following his wife’s advice, starts to act. He approaches his parents, and after consultation with them, arrangements are made to visit the girl and her parents. If accepted, he proceeds to pay the sory and other gifts connected with marriages. When all arrangements are completed, he builds a hut next to that of the first wife home…”

In Matthew 19:3-9, Y’shua is not speaking about polygamy. Rather, He is only answering a question about divorce. Indeed, the entire passage is about divorce, not polygamy. Polygamy is about marriage, whereas divorce is about breaking up marriage. Accordingly, Y’shua was not speaking against pro-marriage polygamy in Matthew 19. He was instead addressing marriage destruction of divorce, not polygamy.

For context, it is important to note that the “one flesh” verse itself of Genesis 2:24, which the Lord Jesus was re-quoting, was written by Moses. And Moses married (was “one flesh” with) two wives: Zipporah (Exodus 2:16-21 and 18:1-6) and the Ethiopian woman (Numbers 12:1). The term, “one flesh”, could not otherwise allegedly mean that a man could not be “one flesh” with more than one woman because three things did indeed happen: 1) Moses did marry two wives. 2) Moses did author such other verses as Exodus 21:10 and Deuteronomy 21:15.3) Jesus Christ did not speak against Moses being “one flesh” with two wives. Hence, the Scriptures reveal that Jesus and Moses knew what “one flesh” meant when Moses authored Genesis 2:24: a man may be “one flesh” with more than one woman. “If a man have two w i v e s…Deuteronomy 21:15.

The passage of Deuteronomy 21:15-17 is a specific instruction in the Law itself to any man with “two wives”. If polygamy was a sin, then it would not be possible for a “man to have two wives” in the Law.

“If a man have two wives, one beloved, and another hated, and they have born him children, both the beloved and the hated; and if the firstborn son be hers that was hated: Then it shall be, when he maketh his sons to inherit that which he hath, that he may not make the son of the beloved firstborn before the son of the hated, which is indeed the firstborn: But he shall acknowledge the son of the hated for the firstborn, by giving him a double portion of all that he hath: for he is the beginning of his strength; the right of the firstborn is his.” Deuteronomy 21:15-17.

“If he take him another wife; her food, her raiment, and her duty of marriage, shall he not diminish.” Exodus 21:10. Exodus 21:10 protects the first (and previous) wife(s). Note that this verse comes only 22 verses AFTER the 7th Commandment (“Thou shalt not commit adultery”) in Exodus 20:14.

I overstand the argument many will use stating that His Majesty did not have several wives, therefore Rastafari shouldn’t either. But according to biblical law, it is divorce which is not approved of, not polygamy. Let us not forget that His Imperial Majesty Empress Menen, who brought with her children of her previous marriage into her new marriage with HIM. His Majesty is the 250 descendant of the Royal Solomonic Dynasty which, truth be told, was a polygamous one. Perhaps he chose not to do so himself, but he comes from a Lineage which did.

I’m not here to staunchly defend or promote polygamy or monogamy, but give a traditional Afrikan perspective to the descendants of Afrika who may or may not hold fast to westernized biblical perspective, with all due respect and overstanding. InI must wisely discern the difference between polygamy and promiscuity. Let us also consider the fact that unlike what the westernized mind would sight as “subservience” among women inna polygamous relation, or a form of degradation to the women, that it is in fact polygamous societies which honored the Goddess Principle, and were moreover matriarchal societies, whereas the western (white) world has always degraded and subjected its women within its patriarchal system.

Just some things to think about – before being so quick to deem polygamy as unrighteous according to biblical law. Not only is it part of InI Kulcha but spiritual / socio-economic levity as well. Polygamy and monogamy have always co-existed in our Afrikan traditions.

Ethiopian Women

This is not the first time that Ethiopian women have served their country and their Emperor side by side with their menfolk, as history can vouchsafe this well known fact. We are satisfied with the ability that Ethiopian women have shown in Our new educational progress. Not only is it our desire that in the future, women should not have less chance than men but it is also our intentions to encourage them to make equal contributions by participating with their menfolk in the various projects for the development of their country. Nothing gives Us greater happiness than having founded development programmes and seeing that men and women are now equally benefiting from the projects which We initiated for all Ethiopia.

– Words of Him Emperor Haile Sellassie 1 of Ethiopia

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A BLACK MUSLIM BROTHER EXPLAINS POLYGAMY

January 20, 2007

IslamiCity

Introduction | (1) Eve’s Fault | (2) Eve’s Legacy | (3) Shameful Daughters? | (4) Female Education | (5) Unclean Impure Women | (6) Bearing Witness | (7) Adultery | (8) Vows | (9) Wife’s Property | (10) Divorce | (11) Mothers | (12) Female Inheritance | (13) Plight of Widows | (14) Polygamy | (15) The Veil | (16) Epilogue | Footnotes

Women in Islam Versus Women in the Judaeo-Christian Tradition
The Myth and The Reality
By: Sherif Abdel Azim, Ph.D.- Queens University, Kingston, Ontario, Canada

PART 14 – POLYGAMY ?

Let us now tackle the important question of polygamy. Polygamy is a very ancient practice found in many human societies. The Bible did not condemn polygamy. To the contrary, the Old Testament and Rabbinic writings frequently attest to the legality of polygamy. King Solomon is said to have had 700 wives and 300 concubines (1 Kings 11:3) Also, king David is said to have had many wives and concubines (2 Samuel 5:13). The Old Testament does have some injunctions on how to distribute the property of a man among his sons from different wives (Deut. 22:7). The only restriction on polygamy is a ban on taking a wife’s sister as a rival wife (Lev. 18:18). The Talmud advises a maximum of four wives. 51 European Jews continued to practice polygamy until the sixteenth century. Oriental Jews regularly practiced polygamy until they arrived in Israel where it is forbidden under civil law. However, under religious law which overrides civil law in such cases, it is permissible. 52
What about the New Testament? According to Father Eugene Hillman in his insightful book, Polygamy reconsidered, “Nowhere in the New Testament is there any explicit commandment that marriage should be monogamous or any explicit commandment forbidding polygamy.” 53 Moreover, Jesus has not spoken against polygamy though it was practiced by the Jews of his society. Father Hillman stresses the fact that the Church in Rome banned polygamy in order to conform to the Greco-Roman culture (which prescribed only one legal wife while tolerating concubinage and prostitution). He cited St. Augustine, “Now indeed in our time, and in keeping with Roman custom, it is no longer allowed to take another wife.” 54 African churches and African Christians often remind their European brothers that the Church’s ban on polygamy is a cultural tradition and not an authentic Christian injunction.

The Quran, too, allowed polygamy, but not without restrictions:

“If you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with the orphans, marry women of your choice, two or three or four; but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with them, then only one” (Quran 4:3).

The Quran, contrary to the Bible, limited the maximum number of wives to four under the strict condition of treating the wives equally and justly. It should not be understood that the Quran is exhorting the believers to practice polygamy, or that polygamy is considered as an ideal. In other words, the Quran has “tolerated” or “allowed” polygamy, and no more, but why? Why is polygamy permissible ? The answer is simple: there are places and times in which there are compelling social and moral reasons for polygamy. As the above Quranic verse indicates, the issue of polygamy in Islam cannot be understood apart from community obligations towards orphans and widows. Islam as a universal religion suitable for all places and all times could not ignore these compelling obligations.

In most human societies, females outnumber males. In the U.S. there are, at least, eight million more women than men. In a country like Guinea there are 122 females for every 100 males. In Tanzania, there are 95.1 males per 100 females. 55 What should a society do towards such unbalanced sex ratios? There are various solutions, some might suggest celibacy, others would prefer female infanticide (which does happen in some societies in the world today !). Others may think the only outlet is that the society should tolerate all manners of sexual permissiveness: prostitution, sex out of wedlock, homosexuality, etc. For other societies , like most African societies today, the most honorable outlet is to allow polygamous marriage as a culturally accepted and socially respected institution. The point that is often misunderstood in the West is that women in other cultures do not necessarily look at polygamy as a sign of women’s degradation. For example, many young African brides , whether Christians or Muslims or otherwise, would prefer to marry a married man who has already proved himself to be a responsible husband. Many African wives urge their husbands to get a second wife so that they do not feel lonely. 56 A survey of over six thousand women, ranging in age from 15 to 59, conducted in the second largest city in Nigeria showed that 60 percent of these women would be pleased if their husbands took another wife. Only 23 percent expressed anger at the idea of sharing with another wife. Seventy-six percent of the women in a survey conducted in Kenya viewed polygamy positively. In a survey undertaken in rural Kenya, 25 out of 27 women considered polygamy to be better than monogamy. These women felt polygamy can be a happy and beneficial experience if the co-wives cooperate with each other. 57 Polygamy in most African societies is such a respectable institution that some Protestant churches are becoming more tolerant of it. A bishop of the Anglican Church in Kenya declared that, “Although monogamy may be ideal for the expression of love between husband and wife, the church should consider that in certain cultures polygyny is socially acceptable and that the belief that polygyny is contrary to Christianity is no longer tenable.” 58 After a careful study of African polygamy, Reverend David Gitari of the Anglican Church has concluded that polygamy, as ideally practiced, is more Christian than divorce and remarriage as far as the abandoned wives and children are concerned. 59 I personally know of some highly educated African wives who, despite having lived in the West for many years, do not have any objections against polygamy. One of them, who lives in the U.S., solemnly exhorts her husband to get a second wife to help her in raising the kids.

The problem of the unbalanced sex ratios becomes truly problematic at times of war. Native American Indian tribes used to suffer highly unbalanced sex ratios after wartime losses. Women in these tribes, who in fact enjoyed a fairly high status, accepted polygamy as the best protection against indulgence in indecent activities. European settlers, without offering any other alternative, condemned this Indian polygamy as ‘uncivilised’. 60 After the second world war, there were 7,300,000 more women than men in Germany (3.3 million of them were widows). There were 100 men aged 20 to 30 for every 167 women in that age group. 61 Many of these women needed a man not only as a companion but also as a provider for the household in a time of unprecedented misery and hardship. The soldiers of the victorious Allied Armies exploited these women’s vulnerability. Many young girls and widows had liaisons with members of the occupying forces. Many American and British soldiers paid for their pleasures in cigarettes, chocolate, and bread. Children were overjoyed at the gifts these strangers brought. A 10 year old boy on hearing of such gifts from other children wished from all his heart for an ‘Englishman’ for his mother so that she need not go hungry any longer. 62 We have to ask our own conscience at this point: What is more dignifying to a woman? An accepted and respected second wife as in the native Indians’ approach, or a virtual prostitute as in the ‘civilised’ Allies approach? In other words, what is more dignifying to a woman, the Quranic prescription or the theology based on the culture of the Roman Empire?

It is interesting to note that in an international youth conference held in Munich in 1948 the problem of the highly unbalanced sex ratio in Germany was discussed. When it became clear that no solution could be agreed upon, some participants suggested polygamy. The initial reaction of the gathering was a mixture of shock and disgust. However, after a careful study of the proposal, the participants agreed that it was the only possible solution. Consequently, polygamy was included among the conference final recommendations. 63

The world today possesses more weapons of mass destruction than ever before and the European churches might, sooner or later, be obliged to accept polygamy as the only way out. Father Hillman has thoughtfully recognized this fact, “It is quite conceivable that these genocidal techniques (nuclear, biological, chemical..) could produce so drastic an imbalance among the sexes that plural marriage would become a necessary means of survival….Then contrary to previous custom and law, an overriding natural and moral inclination might arise in favour of polygamy. In such a situation, theologians and church leaders would quickly produce weighty reasons and biblical texts to justify a new conception of marriage.” 64

To the present day, polygamy continues to be a viable solution to some of the social ills of modern societies. The communal obligations that the Quran mentions in association with the permission of polygamy are more visible at present in some Western societies than in Africa. For example, In the United States today, there is a severe gender crisis in the black community. One out of every twenty young black males may die before reaching the age of 21. For those between 20 and 35 years of age, homicide is the leading cause of death. 65 Besides, many young black males are unemployed, in jail, or on dope. 66 As a result, one in four black women, at age 40, has never married, as compared with one in ten white women. 67 Moreover, many young black females become single mothers before the age of 20 and find themselves in need of providers. The end result of these tragic circumstances is that an increasing number of black women are engaged in what is called ‘man-sharing’. 68 That is, many of these hapless single black women are involved in affairs with married men. The wives are often unaware of the fact that other women are ‘sharing’ their husbands with them. Some observers of the crisis of man-sharing in the African American community strongly recommend consensual polygamy as a temporary answer to the shortage of black males until more comprehensive reforms in the American society at large are undertaken. 69 By consensual polygamy they mean a polygamy that is sanctioned by the community and to which all the parties involved have agreed, as opposed to the usually secret man-sharing which is detrimental both to the wife and to the community in general. The problem of man-sharing in the African American community was the topic of a panel discussion held at Temple University in Philadelphia on January 27, 1993. 70 Some of the speakers recommended polygamy as one potential remedy for the crisis. They also suggested that polygamy should not be banned by law, particularly in a society that tolerates prostitution and mistresses. The comment of one woman from the audience that African Americans needed to learn from Africa where polygamy was responsibly practiced elicited enthusiastic applause.

Philip Kilbride, an American anthropologist of Roman Catholic heritage, in his provocative book, Plural marriage for our time, proposes polygamy as a solution to some of the ills of the American society at large. He argues that plural marriage may serve as a potential alternative for divorce in many cases in order to obviate the damaging impact of divorce on many children. He maintains that many divorces are caused by the rampant extramarital affairs in the American society. According to Kilbride, ending an extramarital affair in a polygamous marriage, rather than in a divorce, is better for the children, “Children would be better served if family augmentation rather than only separation and dissolution were seen as options.” Moreover, he suggests that other groups will also benefit from plural marriage such as: elderly women who face a chronic shortage of men and the African Americans who are involved in man-sharing. 71

In 1987, a poll conducted by the student newspaper at the university of California at Berkeley asked the students whether they agreed that men should be allowed by law to have more than one wife in response to a perceived shortage of male marriage candidates in California. Almost all of the students polled approved of the idea. One female student even stated that a polyganous marriage would fulfil her emotional and physical needs while giving her greater freedom than a monogamous union. 72 In fact, this same argument is also used by the few remaining fundamentalist Mormon women who still practice polygamy in the U.S. They believe that polygamy is an ideal way for a woman to have both a career and children since the wives help each other care for the children. 73

It has to be added that polygamy in Islam is a matter of mutual consent. No one can force a woman to marry a married man. Besides, the wife has the right to stipulate that her husband must not marry any other woman as a second wife. 74 The Bible, on the other hand, sometimes resorts to forcible polygamy. A childless widow must marry her husband’s brother, even if he is already married (see the “Plight of Widows” section),regardless of her consent (Genesis 38:8-10).

It should be noted that in many Muslim societies today the practice of polygamy is rare since the gap between the numbers of both sexes is not huge. One can, safely, say that the rate of polygamous marriages in the Muslim world is much less than the rate of extramarital affairs in the West. In other words, men in the Muslim world today are far more strictly monogamous than men in the Western world.

Billy Graham, the eminent Christian evangelist has recognized this fact: “Christianity cannot compromise on the question of polygamy. If present-day Christianity cannot do so, it is to its own detriment. Islam has permitted polygamy as a solution to social ills and has allowed a certain degree of latitude to human nature but only within the strictly defined framework of the law. Christian countries make a great show of monogamy, but actually they practice polygamy. No one is unaware of the part mistresses play in Western society. In this respect Islam is a fundamentally honest religion, and permits a Muslim to marry a second wife if he must, but strictly forbids all clandestine amatory associations in order to safeguard the moral probity of the community.” 75

It is of interest to note that many, non-Muslim as well as Muslim, countries in the world today have outlawed polygamy. Taking a second wife, even with the free consent of the first wife, is a violation of the law. On the other hand, cheating on the wife, without her knowledge or consent, is perfectly legitimate as far as the law is concerned! What is the legal wisdom behind such a contradiction? Is the law designed to reward deception and punish honesty? It is one of the unfathomable paradoxes of our modern ‘civilised’ world.

IslamiCity

THE AFRICAN BACKGROUND OF POLYGAMY

January 20, 2007

The African Family Structure (FROM cultural-expressions.com)

It would be a negligent oversight to examine the Afrikan family structure without making reference to polygyny (the practice of several women joining unto one man), which incidentally was first introduced into ancient societies by the Afrikan Woman. In the old days of Afrika’s glory the woman considered herself nothing without a man to defend her and a man was nothing without a woman and a family to defend. At this time polygyny was generally practiced throughout most of the world, a result of the Black Man’s cultural influence all around the globe. Polygyny or polygamy, as some call it, was adopted by Black Women to ensure every woman in the society having access to a man, whose primary role was protector, guide, provider and keeper of the realm.

As already stated, in these ancient Afrikan societies women were held in the highest honor and respect, the female entity was revered and oft-times worshipped as the Great Mother, Nourisher and Sustainer of life, the source of all terrestrial inspiration and the maintainer of revitalized life. This was the usual way of life in those wonderful days when the Black Man dominated the earth, widespread love, respect and affection was consistently demonstrated by the Black Man to the Black Woman. He delighted in adorning her with gold and silver often rhapsodizing to her in the most beautiful language (perhaps this is why sisters still love to hear a Black Man lay down some good “rap” even unto this day), the norm in ancient Black Society, where each gender clearly accepted and dignified their distinguished roles in the community with mutual affection and respect for one another. In those days of amorous joy Black Women delighted in dancing and singing praises to their men especially after they had returned from the battle (usually in defense of the homeland) or the hunt.

The family practices of the Black Man’s High Culture System began to deteriorate in certain parts of the world namely Europe and northern Asia when the Caucasian appeared on the scene. At first white Europeans with no real culture of their own, other than the insatiable love of warfare, tried to emulate the Afrikan in the practice of polygyny although there was no general change in his attitude regarding the treatment of the Caucasian woman. With the coming of syphilis and its wide-spread infections among the women of his race, which caused the largest percentage of the female population to die out like flies, the nomadic Caucasians leaving their bodies where they fell, the shortage in the already limited female population was intensified so the European shortly returned to monogamy, homosexuality and the wide-spread practice of polyandry – one woman, many men. In the European custom of polyandry one woman, be she mother, daughter, sister and in some cases a queen, became the wife of as many as ten or more men, included in this group might be her father, her son, her brother, her cousin, her uncle as well as her husband and on certain occasions, at the whim of the family head man she was made available for the pleasure of all the men in the community. The ancient Europeans said their rationale for doing this was an attempt to minimize the constant fighting and bloodletting of rivals over the limited amount of women available. It was out of this confusion that the patriarchal line of descent and the modern European system of monogamy was born. As a result of eventual European world domination many Black People and other peoples of color have been forced to adopt monogamy and in same cases rape and homosexuality as a cultural frame of reference. Subliminally this is one of the manifold reasons for the many traumatic Black Male-Female relationships in the United States and other parts of the world today. But in spite of this mental conditioning we as a people must join unto our own and through the proper light of understanding correctly put into practice those systems that will prosper and sustain us, insuring Our survival and longevity on the earth.

At this point a word of caution is in order. The above statements of historical fact – and it is an irrefutable fact that the practice of polygyny was the norm for Afrikans before the coming of the European – were not intended to denigrate or condemn those families where the Black Man and Woman mutually prefer a monogamous relationship, rather they have been cited to present the cultural roots, validity and obvious advantages of polygyny for Black families who wish to practice it today. Of course it must be clearly understood, especially by the brothers that this is not something you just up and jump into without careful thought and preparation, for there are great responsibilities involved. But those Black Men and Women who are serious and adequately prepare themselves through consultation, study and self discipline applying the practice of polygyny on the high spiritual plane of which it was originally developed will eventually become some of the most respected and powerful men and women in the world. It is believed by some Black Scholars who have carefully and painstakingly studied the societal structures of Afrikan People that the correct application of this system could be a mighty key factor in the economic, spiritual, mental and physical survival of Blacks wherever we are in the world today.

One of the main reasons why polygyny was developed and practiced by the ancients was to enhance the economic power of the family, community and nation. Wherein a brother might achieve moderately well in a basic monoganous structure, he could maximize his efforts a hundred fold with the right combination of sister-wives. Bear in mind this idea was first introduced into the community by the women of the society. The biblical story of Jacob, the reputed father of the Israelite nation, mentions his four wives and how the first two brought the latter two into the family. In this present Euro-centric dominated society which is adverse to our very nature, it is somewhat difficult for us to practice those traditions which are more in tuned with our cosmic vibrations. Therefore we must adopt the wisdom of the Kawaida doctrine which advises us to practice “tradition and reason” as we strive to create a new society a better condition and a better world. There is much truth in the old adage “Where there is a will, there is a way.”

As always it is imperative for us as a people to be constantly advancing in knowledge and understanding ever cultivating the habit of doing those things which contribute to our growth. Above all we must not allow ourselves to become stagnant or we will be like the sitting waters that provide a habitation and breeding ground for blood sucking mosquitoes which can be likened unto our natural enemy hovering overhead, ever ready to feed upon our spiritual being and suck out the life blood of our mind, buzzing about and laying the eggs of his degenerate society. Those brothers and sisters who may react to the above statements out of wild undiciplined emotion instead of the logic and scientific analysis of a sound mind which was originally created and given to you for the purpose of deductive reasoning, we advise; investigate and examine before you rush forward to condemn. Black People must be very certain that the concepts and decisions on the part of both male and female regarding the practice of polygyny are based on knowledge, wisdom, logic and understanding rather than negative emotional reaction. In light of this let not the white-mindedness that to some degree has infected all of us be a stumbling block to our progress as a race.

In raising this issue we are fully aware that humans tend to see into a concept that which appeals to their own personal desires, therefore we do strongly urge this subject be approached with the right mental and spiritual attitude. For it is our fervent prayer that we as a people may soon move from a position of weak powerlessness to our own proper position of power and strength on the Earth. Again we admonish those brothers and sisters who are desirous of practicing polygyny to study and investigate it well,being certain to properly prepare themselves mentally, physically and spiritually so as to avoid the emotional pain and suffering which is repercussive of incorrect and clandestine dealings. At all times the brother must be honest, fair, wise and strong in order for the sisters to feel confident and secure in the relationship. In light of the wide percentage gap between the Black Female and Black Male population, particularly in America, sisters should adopt a cooperative spirit, while seeking ways to remedy this situation. Every Black Woman who needs and wants one should have a Black man. Remember the survival of the race is at stake here, not our uncontrolled emotions.

As I review the great benefits of polygyny to our ancient societies I’m inclined, while at the same time considering our present position here in the western hemisphere, to propose that this way of life must be revived and redeveloped in this day but it must be done correctly and in harmony with good principles. There is much information and many living examples of this practice available to those who diligently seek it out. Again let us reaffirm that this subject was not presented to foment consternation or to cause brothers and sisters to throw up their defenses, “jump salty with each other” and become polarized into forming opposing camps but rather as a review and examination of a historical reality which has been a component of the Afrikan way of life from earliest times unto the present. We trust those few who may not be in agreement with us in this matter will not assume a hostile posture and discount all the other points of vital information in this book. And so with undying Black Love for all, ponder it will understand the true spirit in which it was set forth. Surely the Creator who revealed the divine light of understanding to our Ancestors in the past is the best knower and the best doer. Now let us consider some of the other sharply contrasting, irreconcilable distinctions which eternally exist between the Afrikan and the Caucasian.

THIS WHITE BOY TELLS US HOW THEY DID IT!

January 20, 2007

(from thefreeslave.wordpress.com)

Is This Real, Or Only Accurate?
Saturday January 20th 2007, 01:20 p
Filed under: Uncategorized
HOW TO KEEP A BLACK MAN DOWN

In the words of Willie Lynch in 1712, there are many ways in which you can keep control of your “slaves”. His wisdom of 288 years has not changed. It’s time to wake up Black America!

GENTLEMAN:

I greet you here on the bank of the James River in the year of our Lord, one thousand seven hundred and twelve. First I shall thank you, the Gentlemen of the Colony of Virginia, for bringing me here. I am here to help you solve some of your problems with slaves. Your invitation reached me on my modest plantation in the West Indies where I have experimented with some of the newest and still the oldest methods for control of slaves. Ancient Rome would envy us if my program is implemented. As our boat sailed south on the James River, named for our illustrious King James, whose bible we cherish, I saw enough to know that your program is not unique. While Rome used cords of wood as crosses for standing human bodies along the old highways in great numbers, you are here using the tree and the rope on occasion.

I caught the whiff of a dead slave hanging from a tree a couple of miles back. You are not only losing valuable stock by hangings, you are having uprisings, slaves are running away, your crops are sometimes left in the fields too long for maximum profit, you suffer occasional fires, your animals are killed, gentlemen…you know what your problems are; I do not need to elaborate. I am not here to enumerate your problems, I am here to introduce you to a method of solving them.

In my bag here, I have a fool-proof method for controlling your black slaves. I guarantee everyone of you that if installed correctly it will control the slaves for at least 300 years. My method is simple, any member of your family or any overseer can use it.

I have outlined a number of differences among the slaves, and I take these differences and make them bigger. I use fear, distrust, and envy for control purposes. These methods have worked on my modest plantation in the West Indies, and it will work throughout the South. Take this simple little test of differences and think about them. On the top of my list is “Age”, but it is there because it only starts with an “A”; the second is “Color” or shade; there is intelligence, size, sex, size of plantations, attitude of owners, whether the slaves live in the valley, on a hill, East, West, North, South, have fine or coarse hair, or is tall or short. Now that you have a list of differences, I shall give you an outline of action–but before that, I shall assure you that distrust is stronger than trust, and envy is stronger than adulation, respect, or admiration.

The Black Slave, after receiving this indoctrination, shall carry on and will become self refueling and self generating for hundreds of years, maybe thousands.

Don’t forget, you must pitch the old Black vs. the young Black male, and the young Black male against the old Black male. You must use the dark skinned slaves vs the light skinned slaves, and the light skinned slaves vs. the dark skinned slaves. You must use the female vs. the male, and the male vs. the female. You must also have your servants and overseers distrust all Blacks, but it is necessary that your slaves trust and depend on us. They must love, respect, and trust only us.

Gentlemen, these kits are your keys to control, use them. Have your wives and children use them. Never miss opportunity. My plan is guaranteed, and the good thing about this plan is that if used intensely for one year, the slaves themselves will remain perpetually distrustful.

BROTHER NATHAN HARE AND SISTER JULIA HARE ARE BACK TO FIGHT THE BATTLE TO SAVE BLACK MALE/FEMALE RELATIONSHIPS!

January 20, 2007

FROM blackthinktank.com
[Home] [Speakers] [Think About It] [Reinventing the Wheel] [Clinical Matters] [Think Tank] [Do What You Know]

Reinventing the Wheel:
Voices from the Past as a Prism for the Future
MARCUS GARVEY
“All of us may not live to see the higher accomplishments of an African empire, so strong and powerful as to compel the respect of mankind, but we in our lifetime can so work and act as to make the dream a possibility within another generation.”
http://members.aol.com/GhanaUnion/afrohero.html
_____________

W.E.B. DUBOIS
“I decided that people already know what needs to be done, if they would only act; so I switched from science to propaganda.”
–As told to us by Shirley DuBois in 1970. DuBois is credited with creating the scientific study of racial relations, if not sociology, starting with The Philadelphia Negro, before he decided to change his focus. We’ll never know what we lost from what he is likely to have learned and taught us had he stuck to his forte.
_______________________________________________

HARRIET TUBMAN
“I was the conductor of the Underground Railroad for eight years, and I can say what most conductors can’t say-I never ran my train off the track and I never lost a passenger. There was one of two things I had a right to, liberty, or death; if I could not have one, I would take the other; for no man should take me alive; I should fight for my liberty as long as my strength lasted, and when the time came for me to go, the Lord would let them take me. I freed a thousand slaves; I could have freed a thousand more if only they knew they were slaves.”
________________________________________

BOBBY WRIGHT
“In a bullfight, there comes a time when after being brutalized while making innumerable charges at the movement of a cape, the bull finally turns and faces his adversary with the only movement being his heaving bloody sides. It is believed that for the first time he really sees the matador and this final confrontation is known as “the moment of truth.” For the bull, this moment comes too late. The experience of black people all over the world presents an analogous situation. It is clear that the solution of our problem is the development of a Black social theory which will lead to the salvation of our children’s minds.”

— Bobby Right, The Psychopathic Racial Personality, Chicago, Third World Press, 1984.

Bobby’s forte was organizing, a psychologist whose passion was organizing any and everybody, from sociologists to street gangs, for political purposes. According to his publisher’s “Foreword,” Bobby “died in the prime of this thinking.” We recall that Bobby had just been elected president of the National Association of Black Psychologists, but we lost his chance to serve in that capacity. This was a pity, because black psychology, if not mental and social health, would never have been the same.

NATHAN HARE
“Black Anglo-Saxons are chiefly distinguishable in that, in their struggle to throw off the smothering blanket of social inferiority, they disown their own history and mores in order to assume those of the biological descendants of the white Anglo-Saxons. They relate to, and long to be part of, the elusive and hostile white world, whose norms are taken as models of behavior. White society is to most of them a looking-glass for taking stock of their personal conduct. In that way, they acquire what sociologists call a “looking glass self,” an image they must keep on grooming to make what they think white society imagines itself to be: like whites.”
— Nathan Hare, The Black Anglo Saxons, New York: Marzani and Munsell edition, 1965

“Sometimes called “bourgeois” and “coconuts” today, you can see them all around you, white minds in black bodies, black people who go to sleep at night and dream that they will wake up white. They forget, like too many of the best and the rest of us that, try as we may, no matter whatever we ever do, we will never get out of the black race alive.”

From the article. “A New Black Struggle,” announcing the launching of the now defunct journal of Black Male/Female Relationships

“A New Black Struggle,” Newsweek, August 27, 1979, p. 58. This article followed by several years the publication of a popular speaking out editorial written by one of the Black Think Tank’s cofounders in the February, 1976 issue of Ebony, “For a Better Black Family.”

It was an age of black intellectual focus on asserting the “strengths of the black family” and denying “pathology” in the face of the family and social decay exploding upon our people. Speaking out in Ebony, we cried that “our confusion, our negligence, in this area is both curious and shocking, because the relations between male and female are the most intimate and basic of all human entanglements and the most crucial for the subjugation of a people.“

“….We propose that we begin to establish black love groups (psychological workshops group therapy) to begin to elevate black love groups to the status of a social movement. In this way we may begin to iron out our differences and our difficulties and perhaps to arrive ultimately at a workable solution.”

The interest was great, but without a movement organization, the black male/female schism and displaced power struggle between the black male and black female soon were complicated and sidetracked by the inability of the white-dominated feminist movement then raging to answer the critical questions it had raised for the idea of black female liberation, compounded moreover by the black male-dominated black consciousness movement’s inability to incorporate black women’s liberation as an integral part of the black movement beyond simplistic and counterproductive mimicry. The black male/female relationship movement was also quickly trivialized by the mainstream publishing industry and related hip hop. It is no wonder that black males and female are finding it increasingly hard to get along together.

But now that we know, now that the dust has settled, we must return to the unfinished revolution that is tied so inextricably to the resurrection of the black family and the reclamation of the inherent and indigenous right and ability to rear our children, to reconstruct the core of their personalities and socialize them to become what we want them to be for the leadership and future of a proud and glorious people.

It is said it takes a village to raise a child, but in the process we will find it take a revolution to raise an autonomous village whose children are young, black, gifted and free.

Visit the Black Think Tank bookstore!

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THESE HOUSE NEGROES MUST CHANGE BACK TO BLACK!

January 20, 2007

the field negro (from field-negro.blogspot.com)
Silence is never golden!

Sunday, January 14, 2007
The Stepin Fetchit Awards (The Coonies)

As we approach what would be the 78th birthday of a great American-Martin Luther the King-It is with great sadness and trepidation that the field brings you his semi-annual Stepin Fetchit awards.(The Coonies) Yes folks, in the great tradition of Mantan Moreland, Willie Best, and Stepin Fetchit, I bring you some more Negroes who are embarrassing the rest of us for all of white America to see.

I would like to congratulate some repeat winners like Clarence Thomas, and Cedric The Entertainer. And welcome some new winners to the list, like Paul Mooney, and Condi Rice.

So without further adieu, I bring you the latest winners of the Field Negro Stepin Fetchit awards (The Coonies):

1. Niger Innis- Mr. Innis this award goes to you, not because you are a black Republican conservative, but because like Jessie Jackson does with PUSH, you and your dad sell your organization (CORE) to the highest bidding republican benefactor. Also, when CNBC mistakenly placed Nigger Innis under your name, and profusely apologized to you. Your response was: “Oh God, I thought you guys thought I was a rapper or something” No sir, you are not a rapper, you are a Coon!

2. The Reverend Gary Hamm-Came out in support of the macaca man, George Allen, after Allen’s true racial feelings were being exposed for the world to see. So you played football with him, and he helped line your pocket, and hooked you up when he became Senator. Still, you ought to be ashamed of yourself, I don’t care how many hook ups he gave you. Don’t you still have to look int the mirror?

3. Condi Rice- I tried to avoid this as long as I could. And on some levels I actually like the bad perm lady. But I must put you on this list, if only because you seem to have the Stockholm Syndrome. Like what the f**k? When will you get a back bone and tell the frat boy he is fu****g up American foreign policy? I know you know better, but it’s like you have a blind spot for the guy. So for that, and being the frat boy’s personal Coon, -he is the most powerful man on earth- you get a Coonie. (By the way, I might have to stop calling you the bad perm lady, your perm is looking much better these days)

4. Paul Mooney- Yeah I know you wrote material for Richard Pryor, and you helped quite a few black comedians get their start in the game, but your masquerading with Michael Richards after his “N” word issues was too much.

5. Clarence Thomas- No explanation needed. With all due respect to my man Plez. ,he will be a permanent fixture on any such list that I have. He might as well build a nice little Coonie trophy shelf in his house now, because he will be getting two a year for as long as I am doing this.

6. La Shawn Barber- This conservative blogger earns my respect and disgust at the same time. A true coon, who might be laughing all the way to the bank soon. I know she can’t believe half of the self hate diatribe that she likes to expound upon. Yet it’s working. Whites -especially red state white folks- eat her hustle up. She likes to brag that unlike many of us lowly black bloggers she uses her real name. No handle like “field negro”, “skeptical brotha”, or “free slave” for her, she keeps it one hundred with her white friends. Must work wonders when she tries to get tickets to those sold out NASCAR events. “Hello this is LaShawn Barber, I was wondering if you have any tickets left for tomorrows Talladega 500?” Of course Ms. Barber anything for you, just keep telling it like it is”.

7. Cedric The Entertainer- Another repeat winner. Cedric goes on this list because he just keeps getting worse. (Have you seen his latest movie?) The sad thing is, that old Ced doesn’t have to go the cooning route, because he has some real talent. Lets hope this brother comes around before it’s too late.

8. Fifty Cent-You are a hip hop coon, and your ignorant ass statements and persona have only helped to reinforce stereotypes of what a typical ignorant ass rapper should look and act like. Fifty, please don’t think you have made all that money by accident. (Think about it)

9. O.J. Simpson- Just when we thought we had seen the last of this Coon and murderer;desperate for money, he pens a book detailing how he might have murdered his wife and her friend. O.J. please go away.

10. Flavor Flav-I think I saved the best for last this time. Hard to believe that this Coon was at one time a member of one of the most conscious and influential acts to come along in decades. Yet there he is on national television embarrassing himself and his race, by starring in a coon fest called “Flava of Love”. Folks, trust me when I tell you, it doesn’t get much lower than this show.

That’s my top ten for this award folks. As usual, there were some honorable mentions. People like Puffy, Snoop, the folks at BET,Armstrong Williams,Walter Williams,Ray Nagin,Marion Barry,William Jefferson, Arenda Troutman, The Reverend Jesse Lee Peterson,and many more. All contributing to cooning and coonery in America, and to the embarrassment of well meaning black folks everywhere.

Oh, before I go, I want to say good luck to a sister that’s fighting the good fight against corruption in Louisiana. Many people forget that even before Katrina there were many corrupt forces at work in the “Big Easy”. Katrina has just made it worse. This lady is a whistle blower, and without getting into the details of her case, I will only say that if successful, allot of people will be exposed, and will go down like some of the areas of that great city after Katrina hit.

Check out her story at: http://www.lawgrace.org/2006/06/30/casualties-from-corruption/ Or e-mail her at: Barbara@lawgrace.org

I hope my man over at wesawthat follows up on this, and I want to thank him for bringing this sister’s plight to my attention.

Just remember, justice never sleeps!

Posted by field negro at 11:45 AM

Labels: Cedric The Entertainor, Clarence Thomas, Condy Rice, coons, CORE, George Allen, Mantan Moreland, Niger Innis, PUSH, racial feelings, Stockholm Syndrome, Willie Best

12 comments:
Julie said…
Too bad the list stops at 10, because Ward Connerly truly deserves a spot. Though I don’t completely agree with affirmative action, I was absolutely disgusted that he would encourage and seek out the support of groups like the KKK in order to bring about it’s end. He’s not about equality for all, he’s about exploting the prejudices against people of color for his own personal gain. Any American who embraces a known terrorist group should be arrested for treason. Yet Connerly is going cross-country with his delusional message. On my personal list, this guy is a NUMBER ONE.

8:51 PM
field said…
Damn julie,how could I have forgotten about my good friend Ward. Clearly a gross oversight on my part.

I promise you it will never happen again. Like Clarence, he is a life long Coon in my book!

10:11 PM
aulelia said…
good list and i for one am glad to see 50 cent on it. he is an absolute embarrassment. ever watched him in interviews? when the words come out of his mouth, he is a living example of what can go wrong with elocution lessons.

6:48 AM
black moses said…
the list could prolly go to 100 w/o batting an eye – harold ford posing in front of the confederate flag, black folx joining the minutemen, cbc members voting against net neutrality – but this is definitely a good list. glad to see condi made it, anyone who works that hard in the service of white supremacy deserves a spot.

8:40 AM
Anonymous said…
How about some from the world of sports! Terrell Owens, Chad Johnson, Barry Bonds, Tony Parker and many others! These people are becoming more and more embrassing with each dollar they make.

3:42 PM
mark said…
Yo Field execellent post. I was listening to that Ward ” Coonerlly” today what a jacka@s. I wanted to strangle him.

Please put the good reverends on thier too. Im talknig about Keep hope alive baby daddy and the Perm guy.Someone should kidnapp Permguy(Al Sharpton), cut here “silky hair off, video tape and upload to You tube. Wouldnt that be great.

7:33 PM
plez… said…
Even with my brief lapse in judgement (re: Clarence Thomas’ heroism on the High Court), I can appreciate and applaud your thorough list of Coonies. And I agree with an earlier comment that there has to be more than 10! Maybe Field needs to give Coonies out in different categories: Politics (Ward Connerly is always a unanimous decision), Entertainment (how can you leave out Michael Jackson?), Sports (I’m sure you wouldn’t have much of a problem getting Terrell Owens to shuffle up for his award if the cameras were rolling), Business (whoever is running BET these days), Religion (Creflo Dollar comes to mind), etc.

12:26 AM
Christopher Chambers said…
Add “Booker Rising” to that list. And Will Smith, maybe Mike Steele.

2:07 AM
field negro said…
I swear we are going to get to the bottom of Christopher’s feud with Shay over at Booker Rising:)

But thanks; you all are so right, a list like this could have 100 people.

6:36 AM
Mat Johnson said…
I have this image in my head of Clarence Thomas’s rec room wall, where four rows of uneven, homemade wooden trophy shelves hold two Coonies for each year. Some of the grinning statues sit on the floor in plastic wrap, waiting for him to hammer up another row.

12:18 AM
MIB said…
Hey FN,

I’m not much for lists or awards, especially for acknowledging dubious achievement or notoriety. In its place I propose a system of fines for ‘conduct detrimental to African-Americans’. Repeat offenders and/or particularly egregious violators would have their Black passes permanently revoked.

1:54 PM
Sister Yeye Akilimali Funua Olade said…
Brother,don’t know if you received my post just now-here goes again.Condi should make the list for in her interview with Essence,Sept.2006 she shows she loves slavemaster bush more than she loves her Black self!Reminds me of what Brother Malcolm X said about the house negro.I’m praying for the Sister to get an Afro and shock all of us!As a Sister who has gone “back to Africa” to raise 4 of my 5 children as culturally based Yoruba children, I don’t fail to keep up with what’s happening with my Brothers/Sisters in amerikkka!
Your Sister in Yorubaland,Nigeria,
Yeye Akilimali Funua Olade
yeyeolade.wordpress.com

6:10 AM
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BECAUSE IT MUST NEVER COME TO THIS!

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411 On The Field

field negro
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, US
Raised in the house, but field certified. Jamaica is the land of my birth, but I consider myself a citizen of the world. I currently practice law in the city of brotherly love,(gotta make a living somehow) and I have written articles for The Philadelphia Daily News, USA Today,and the Philadelphia Tribune.Thank God for spell check!
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Words To Live By
“Sitting at the table doesn’t make you a diner. You must be eating some of what’s on that plate. Being here in America doesn’t make you an American. Being born here in America doesn’t make you an American.” ~~Malcolm X~~
Blog Archive
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Not That There Is Anything Wrong With That.
No Tears For The Dukies
Happy Birthday Martin!!!
The Stepin Fetchit Awards (The Coonies)
The N Is For Nigger
So Many Bombs So Little Time!
The Real Story
King George Strikes Again!
The Pursuit Of Happiness
Now What?
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Bye Godfather!
Some White Folks Get It
“It’s A Part Of Us”
(Court) House Negro
Letter To Santa.
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Weapons Of Multiple Directions
Truancy In My Village
Jimmy’s Dad.
The Trivialization Of Black Suffering
“A White Woman And A Cadillac”
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Mr. President Call Home!
Forgive Him Jessie For He Knows Not What He Does
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I Will Take My Chances In Philly
Playing Hooky
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“W” And The Finger
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Senator Kerry’s Apology
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Harold & The Missy Scare
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Madonna’s Little Black Baby!
The Day Democracy Died
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Condi The Liar!
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What’s That Smell?
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The views expressed on this site are the fields and the fields alone. They do not reflect the views of my employer, or any professional, or legal organization of which I am affiliated.
FIELD NEGRO OF THE DAY

This field Negro-Shaka-was King of the Zulus and a great military leader and inovator. He revolutionized 19th century Bantu warfare, and he built the Zulus into a nation of over one million strong. He united all the ethnic groups in South Africa against colonialist powers.
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THIS SISTER WANTS TO TRY POLYGAMY BUT HAS HER DOUBTS….

January 20, 2007

(FROM THE SITE:iveknownrivers.org)
Reconsidering Polygamy
by Nehanda Imara

Maybe it’s just me, but as a divorced woman of African descent,
I am more often contemplating the question, is polygamy a possible solution to the male shortage in our community?

Have I limited my options by only considering brothers born in America? Is the male shortage real? Or perceived? When I find myself answering, “Yes”, to all of the above, I feel fatigued by the prospects. What are my chances of meeting a brother who wants to deal with my independence, my passion as an activist? And even though I know I’m getting better with each passing year, I am over forty.

Five hundred years removed from mother Africa, I would argue that polygamy is one of our African cultural retentions. In it’s various forms it is not necessarily preferred, but it is tolerated. Most of us can remember hearing our mother, auntie or grandma speaking of so-and-so who had another family “on the side.”

Growing up in America, I was taught that marriage is a highly revered social function within the African community. Without it, somehow, you are not complete, not fully adult. Once visiting Ghana I was once told that a grown woman is still considered to be a child until married with children.

When I was in my twenties and met my ex-husband I was full of hope, idealism and romance about our union. But these days I am more practical. I have the same basic desires as my sisters; I want a positive, healthy relationship — with a brother. I want to share a meaningful life with ‘my man’ and have peace of mind. Of course I realize that the African community in America has historically been confronted with decades of systemic economic inequities and social injustices which challenge this desire. Yet, in spite of these obstacles and daily struggles, we as a community share a collective yearning for a ‘normal’ life.

As a divorced, single woman, I often feel a personal rage for the subtle judgements I receive from family, society and myself for not ‘holding onto my husband’. Most people think marriage is as normal getting a job or owning a house. Unmarried you will not enjoy a full menu of life. The perception is that your life lacks the most important ingredients and spices.

Have I put too much weight on the value of marriage? No! I do want a partnership and companion for life. Yes. I want the respect, consideration and status that comes with the title, “wife”. But what about “co-wife?”

There is nothing in my background that has prepared me to accept polygamy, so why would I consider it as a possible option today? I realize, like most women, regardless of our social, economic and cultural status, we will at least once in our life share a male significant other with another woman. Sharing a male significant other with another woman is usually seen simultaneously as inevitable, but extremely undesirable. Sharing is also sometimes known as ‘cheating’, ‘adultery’, ‘relationship betrayal’ or ‘unofficial polygamy’. Each of these social improprieties seems to carry the weight of being an immoral person, but it is a sometimes tolerated act.

Do I, as an African woman accept ‘relationship betrayal’ because it is inevitable? No. Are brothers naturally polygamous? Most will tell you they are.

As an activist I have studied African culture (traveled and lived in Africa and the African Diaspora) and have concluded that the African family is resilient and multi-faceted. The extended family is more than a notion. The African extended family is the glue that has kept our community together this long. The !Kung (also known as the “Bushmen of the Kalahari”) believe sole commitment to one person is the ultimate human goal and 99% of their society achieve this. The !Kung also have a practice called, “trial marriage” where multiple divorces are allowed until a couple are mature enough. By the third or forth trial their “hearts have grown big” towards each other and they stay together forever. Polygamy is also tolerated by the !Kung, but not preferred.

I have some ‘sista-friends’ currently in open ‘polygamous’ relationships. I recently asked Maya (not her real name) how she developed her ideas about polygamy and if it really worked for her. Maya grew up as a teenager around Black Panthers and Black Muslims at a time when polygamy was more openly discussed. She grew to accept the idea. Her husband is a Muslim and has accepted this all of his life. I asked her if she would have felt differently if she had been the first wife instead of the second?

“No. Because it’s illegal in this country most people don’t ever discuss it,” she said. “Most married men have another woman anyway. A lot of women silently accept this. I do too, but not silently. I just happen to know her. And we know our husband is not sleeping around getting diseases and stuff. Deep down most women just want their man to themselves. This would be the perfect thing. But, in our imperfect understanding of the world men tend to want more than one woman, why, I don’t know. It must be in their blood. I do know I’d like to have a man, then to be alone.”

Relationships are like food; we need them to survive. Within each relationship our hearts seek love, on whatever terms, definitions or flavors we have come to call it. Marriage becomes the main dish on this menu. Maya also said she thought that “most American men (black or white) are afraid to ask their wives to become polygamous because they think she’ll leave.” Maya believes that once a woman accepts her husband loving two women and she’s not afraid that he’ll leave then she will become secure, even appreciate the new family set-up.

Of course, Maya knows her situation is very specific. “This is easy for me to say as the second wife, because I want to share. But I have been blessed with a husband and co-wife who grew-up accepting this as natural. I like the fact that he has a week with me and then I have time to myself. I was single for a long time, so this is like having my cake and eating it too”.

I am still not convinved about polygamy as an natural alternative. It works for my friend but certainly won’t work for most of today’s black women in America. Still, it is a centuries-long tradition which may still hold some benefits in today’s society. So why not legalize it? Legalized polygamy just might lower the divorce rate. What do you think?