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MODERN AFRICAN WOMEN PREPARE FOR MARRIAGE IN ThE TRADITiONAL CALABAR FATTENING ROOM On AFRICAN REALITY TV! -FROM THE PUNCH NEWSPAPER,NIGERIA

Modern babes in fattening room

2013-04-17 00:15:03



In a fresh and ambitious re-enactment of the Efik pre-marriage tradition, Fattening Room, six ladies drawn from different parts of Africa land in seclusion, writes AKEEM LASISI

 At a time many people fear that the country’s many cultural practices are on the extinction plane, Fattening Room, a major bridal practice of the Efik People of Cross River, appears to have got a new lease of life. It will soon become a spectacle to be watched on the screen, through the acts of six modern ladies who have just experienced it.

The producer, EbonyLife, which has come up with some powerful reality shows in recent times, describes  Fattening Room as an authentic experience set in the historically significant city of Calabar, also home to the famous Calabar Cultural Festival.

“The Fattening Room is unique to the Efik culture of Nigeria and is practised when young women enter a house of seclusion to learn everything a woman needs to know about running an honourable home, raising children that are as good as gold and managing to keep her husband happy and at home,” the company’s Director of Reality Programmes, Pamela Ofoegbu, notes.

The organisation believes that the time has come to discover the inner chambers of tradition that have always been reserved for women only, when six young ladies from across Africa enter the Fattening Room for the very first time.

She adds, “The ladies start the series in the strict Efik tradition and journey towards modern invention while always honouring their African roots.  It has been an incredible journey back to time as we celebrate our rich African heritage on a beautiful trado-modern backdrop. Our ladies from Botswana, South Africa, Zambia, Nigeria, Ghana and Kenya emerged from the Fattening Room with a better appreciation of the Efik culture and tradition and also of themselves as strong African women full of value and worth.”

Just ‘escaping’ from the room are Roselyn Ashkar, a fashion model and journalist from Ghana; Sally Berold, an adventurer and freelance experiential marketing specialist from South Africa; Stephanie Unachukwu, a Nigerian designer and Patricia Kihoto, a singer, actress and radio personality from Kenya.

Others are Thsepo Maphanyanye,  a publicity and public relations executive from Botswana,  and Limpo Funjika, a business development manager and aspiring TV presenter from Zambia.

While the Series Producer at EbonyLife, founded by Mo Abudu,  Priscilia Nzimiro, says producing the Fattening Room has been a wonderful and enlightening experience,  with Content Director, Kenneth Gyang, lauding the treat as being engaging, the cast generally say the experience has been revealing.

Says Tshepo, “Participating in the fattening room has certainly been a surge of all kinds of emotions but best of all it has been without a doubt an incredible journey of discovery and a once in a lifetime opportunity of exposure to such a rich culture experienced alongside an amazing circle of young women from nations across Africa.Certainly one of my best experiences.”

For Limpo, it has provided her an opportunity to learn; and for Patricia, it has been a lot of fun although she concedes she has learnt a lot, even about herself.

Also says Stephanie, “I have had the opportunity to learn new skills in the short amount of time I’ve been here and look forward to the rest of the show and what it holds.”

Abudu congratulates all the participants and salutes the crew for the feat at producing Fattening Room. She notes, “It is a true testimony of ‘If you can think it, you can do it.’ As a team, during one of our strategy sessions about a year ago inTinapa, we wanted to develop and produce a reality show that showcased the rich culture of Calabar that is now home to EbonyLife TV and we thought what better way to do that, than the Efik tradition of The Fattening Room! And with the genius minds of the EbonyLifeTV team at work, we gave it a treatment that will simply wow everyone when it airs! We simply took an old Efik culture and gave it a modern twist. “

BLACK VIRGINITY!–This Yoruba GIRL STANDS UP for VIRGINITY!–FROM THE NATION NEWSPAPER,NIGERIA

A vote for chastity
These South African Virgins Are Celebrating Their after being TESTED!

From thenationonline.com
Posted by: Adebisi Adeniji

on April 18, 2013

in Campus Life

The term “virginity” has returned to be the discourse in certain circles. Coming in an age when obnoxious words reign supreme, of course, it could not have come at a better time.

Nowadays, it is hard to define who is a virgin in the real meaning of the word. The general meaning of the word “virgin” refers to a girl who keeps her chastity. Such a girl can be said not to have slept with the opposite sex at the time of being called a virgin.

However, people believe that such a girl is scarce in today’s world. Much emphasis is not placed on male virginity because the gender does not have hymen. The attention is on women.

According to an online statistics, 95 per cent of Nigerian teenagers cannot boast of being virgins. In an era where premarital and casual sex abound, girls who are as young as 14 have started experimenting with the forbidden fruit, causing an upsurge in teen pregnancies and abortions. Such act has also resulted in psychological breakdowns with the rejection of unwanted children.

There are many factors that contribute to the sexual decadence in our society. It should be noted that the mass media, which has, over the years, served as a source of socialisation, also has its negative effect on the society and the people. The media’s portrayal of sexual images to an already vulnerable audience has helped to increase the level of decadence.

Corporate advertisers are particularly guilty of this; bits of sensuality are infused into every advert they place or show on television. Even when it is not necessary, they employ skimpily dressed girls to advertise their products, passing a wrong message to the audience.

Peer pressure is also a factor. Teenagers, who do not indulge in the practice, are seen as greenhorns by their peers, who have had the experience. In order not to be the butt of jokes among their friends, some teenagers make wrong decisions.

Today’s forms of entertainment are also to blame. Songs with weird lyrics are the favourites of the young. Some of them would say: “We only love the beat; we don’t practise the message”. But, in reality, the songs are like radioactive wastes; they slowly destroy whoever listens to them. There is no way a 14-year-old girl would listen to songs, such as Lay on me, without having certain thoughts.

Some people have argued that virginity is not important in this globalisation age, claiming that in the olden days, girls married relatively early as soon as they reached puberty. Such early marriages, they argued, kept promiscuity at bay.

However, times and civilisation have changed the practice. Nowadays, the first 20 years of any girl are spent in the classroom. But, by that age, her features would have developed. It is reasonable for an unmarried 25-year -old woman to be sexually active.

It is so bad that many teenagers know some things about sex, which their parents probably might never know. A newspaper cartoon was circulated sometime ago, where a man was seen telling his teenage son that it was time for sex education. The boy answered: “Sure, what part do you want to know, daddy?”

Everyone has a reason for making certain decisions but it would be advantageous if such decisions are not based on external influence. Abstinence is the surest way of preventing sexually-transmitted diseases. The slogan “abstinence is the best method to prevent diseases” attests to this fact.

My advice to teenagers and the youth is that they must abstain from premarital sex. And those who are still chaste, should maintain this status. We must not allow ourselves to be the butt of jokes in the society.

There is a Yoruba adage that says anything that is protected doesn’t lose its value. We must not be deceived by the argument that virginity is an outdated value. It is not; it is a value we must nurture to ensure our society is free of decadence.

 (

>BLACK RITES OF PASSAGE FOR BLACK GIRLS!-SAVE OUR GIRLS FROM HEARTACHE! -FROM ASSATASHAKUR.COM

>

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Rites of passage: ceremonies can help our kids cope with today’s turbulent times

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#1 (permalink) 08-29-2004

IfasehunReincarnated

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Rites of passage: ceremonies can help our kids cope with today’s turbulent times

——————————————————————————–

Rites of passage: ceremonies can help our kids cope with today’s turbulent times

Synade Jackson, a divorced mother of two, was filled with anxiety as her 14-year-old daughter, Kemikaa, moved toward womanhood. So to reinforce the lessons she had been teaching her at home about being a strong Black woman, Jackson enrolled Kemikaa in the Sojourner Truth Adolescent Rites Society (STARS) in New York City.

“I had wondered whether my daughter would choose education over adolescent pregnancy,” Jackson says. “I wanted her to learn African history and spirituality. I wanted these values to be ingrained in her.”

Jackson seems to have gotten her wish. As Kemikaa and 13 other girls finished the ten-month program (which included classes on spirituality, sexuality, cooking-and even quilting), Jackson says she watched her daughter become a more confident, responsible young lady. And Kemikaa, too, was happy with the results. “I got a lot out of the group,” she says, “especially the self-love and self-esteem class, where we talked about our ,body temple, and how we feel about ourselves.”

Jackson is not alone in her desire to play a greater role in the socialization process of her child. According to Audrey “Ayo” Hunter, founder and executive director of the Kabaz (Black Jewels) Cultural Center, Inc., in Detroit, African-American rites-of-passage programs like hers have been going on since the 1960’s. Meanwhile, the Afrikan National Rites of Passage United Kollective, a St. Louis, Missouri-based umbrella organization that has been conducting these programs for ten years, has annual meetings to develop and hone African-American passage programs around the country.

“Historically our people have always used certain requirements or tasks to move on to the next level,” says Darryl “Kofi” Kennon, executive director of the Baltimore Rites of Passage Kollective. “African people have been doing rites for thousands of years.”

Bruce “Olamina Osatunde” Stevenson, assistant director of operations programming of the Baltimore rites group, adds “As a direct result of the enslavement of African people, our rites of initiation were stolen. Every culture has a process where children must become adults. We use these rituals to let children know that it’s time to take on roles and responsibilities.”

There are other benefits as well. Because negative images of the Black community abound, says Dr. Nsenga Warfield-Coppock, a Washington, D.C., psychologist who has written several books on African-American rites of passage, these programs help ensure that our children have healthy self-images. “Society does not provide a mirror for our kids to see themselves positively,” says Warfield-Coppock, whose three children have all participated in these rituals.

“With these programs,” sums up Dr. Wade W. Nobles, executive director of the Institute for the Advanced Study of Black Family Life and Culture in Oakland, “our children belong to something greater than themselves. And that’s important.”

ESSENTIALS OF A RITES PROGRAM

While there is no “correct” way to do it, Stevenson of the Baltimore Rites of Passage Kollective recommends the following components for a successful passage program:

* Let African traditions or influences be at the core. At the African Son-Rise Rites of Passage Manhood Training Program in Washington, D.C., for example, boys learn about the history and culture of Africans in the diaspora through lectures, films and visits to museums. * Involve parents, relatives and guardians in the process. For instance, the West Dallas Community Centers have bonding sessions between the children and parents or guardians to emphasize the importance of extended family and mentors. * Make the rites program an ongoing one. “Rites of passage are lifelong,” says Warfield-Coppock. Consequently, the process is continuous, spanning birth and adolescence to marriage, eldership and finally death. Although programs typically revolve around young adolescents, they can be performed with toddlers, 7-year-olds and late teens too. * Give the participants tasks to master. Use emotional, spiritual and physical tests to prepare children for adulthood. At Detroit’s Kabaz Center, children go to the woods to become more attuned with nature and also participate in precision drills that instill discipline. * Let the community witness the ceremony. At the STARS program, Kemikaa and her friends dressed in African attire for their final ceremony in New York City’s Abyssinian Baptist Church, where they shared speeches with their families and other witnesses. * Include rituals and ceremonial activities. Children at the Baltimore Rites of Passage Kollective, for instance, form a unity circle to give thanks to the Creator and offer libations to remember their ancestors.

PASSAGE PROGRAMS NATIONWIDE

While we can’t list all rites-of-passage programs around the country, here are a few: * Baltimore Rites of Passage, Kollective, Harambee Kollective Services, Inc., 3645 Cottage Ave., Baltimore MD 21215; (410) 462-1494. With “positive, preventive and proactive” curricula, the Kollective trains boys and girls (ages 7 to 18) to become strong, responsible adults. The program, which lasts at least 20 weeks, is broken down into five major phases: family orientation, rites of separation, curriculum, retreat and naming ceremony, and the transformation ceremony. * HAWK Federation, 175 Filbert St., Ste. 202, Oakland CA 94607; (510) 836-3245. HAWK–High Achievement, Wisdom and Knowledge–was designed initially as an African-based manhood training program, but today, HAWK’s female counterpart, the Aset Society, offers a parallel operation for girls. Based on a series of tests that each child must master to build courage, character and consciousness, Hawk targets 12-to-14-year-old boys. Both programs, however, are open to children between the ages of.5 and 18. * West Dallas Community Centers, Inc., 8200 Brookriver Dr., Ste. N704, Dallas TX 75247; (214) 634-7691. After receiving a $1.4 million grant in 1989, the West Dallas Community Centers developed a rites-of-passage program that focuses on youths who have been involved with the correctional system or in family intervention. The curriculum incorporates the Nguzo Saba (the seven principles celebrated during Kwanzaa), counseling, and language, karate and history classes. This coed program generally lasts two years and targets children between ages 9 and 17. * Kabaz (Black Jewels) Cultural Center, 3619 Mount Elliott, Detroit MI 48207; (313) 924-1140. Kabaz, which celebrated its thirtieth anniversary last year, claims to teach “the art of manhood and womanhood by connecting to our past.” The coed program, lasting from three months to a year, trains children starting at age 5, using a 12-formula Dlan to in still Afrocentric values and norms. * Concerned Black Men, Inc. (D.C. Chapter), 1511 K St., N.W., Ste. 1100, Washington DC 20005; (202) 783-5414. The five-year-old African Son-Rise Rites of Passage Manhood Training Program is a year-round operation in which 8-to-13-year-old boys meet two Saturdays a month. It’s based on five principles: economic intuition, leadership, health and physical fitness, cultural awareness and academic competence. * African American Women on Tour, 3914 Murphy Canyon Rd., Ste. 216-B, San Diego CA 92123-4423; (800) 560-AAWT. At five conferences around the country, AAWT holds rites-of-passage programs for 12-to-19-year-old girls. The three-day workshop focuses on self-empowerment, teen sexuality and African culture and history.

For information on how to set up a passage program in your community, contact one of the organizations listed above. If you want to read up on the topic, check out Transformation: A Rites of Passage Manual for African American Girls by Mafori Moore, Gwen Akua Gilyard, Karen King and Nsenga Warfield-Coppock (STARS Press, $15) and Bringing the Black Boy to Manhood: The Passage by Nathan Hare and Julie Hare (Black Think Tank, $6). Warfield-Coppock can also provide a wealth of information; she can be reached at Baobab Associates, Inc., 7614 16th St., N.W., Washington DC 20012.

COPYRIGHT 1996 Essence Communications, Inc.S

__________________

All is Well. Workin’ Hard – Tryin’ to Save Time for Fam. Check in Periodically.

Photos of members wearing Hands Off Assata Shirts 6/3/06

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#2 (permalink) 08-08-2005

STUDENT

Premium Member Join Date: Jul 2005

Location: Los Angeles

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HELP: Searching For Rites-of-Passage in LA

——————————————————————————–

Hello everyone. I am just coming out of the “Matrix”. I have a 10yr old son

that I want to help stay clear of it. I am looking for a rite-of-passage group

in LA to put him in. If anyone can help, please write back or phone me @

858-414-3434. Thank you so much for any and all assistance given.

Oh, I am also looking for an African based church, thanks again.

#3 (permalink) 08-08-2005

Im The Truth

Organizer Join Date: Jan 2004

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I worry the same about Atlanta, GA I heard about a rites-of-passage a while back but I’m not sure of the details or if it still exsist. If anyone knows let a brotha know.

Uhuru Sasa!!!

__________________

“If the enemy is not doing anything against you, you are not doing anything”

-Ahmed Sékou Touré

“speak truth, do justice, be kind and do not do evil.”

-Baba Orunmila

“Cowardice asks the question: is it safe? Expediency asks the question: is it political? Vanity asks the question: is it popular? But conscience asks the question: is it right? And there comes a time when one must take a position that is neither safe, nor political, nor popular – but one must take it simply because it is right.”

–Dr. Martin L. King

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Rites of passage: ceremonies can help our kids cope with today’s turbulent times

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#1 (permalink) 08-29-2004

IfasehunReincarnated

Never Let Them Disrespect the Ancestors Join Date: Jan 2004

Location: Sirius & Onile Simultaneously

Posts: 6,020

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Thanked 123 Times in 93 Posts

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Rites of passage: ceremonies can help our kids cope with today’s turbulent times

——————————————————————————–

Rites of passage: ceremonies can help our kids cope with today’s turbulent times

Synade Jackson, a divorced mother of two, was filled with anxiety as her 14-year-old daughter, Kemikaa, moved toward womanhood. So to reinforce the lessons she had been teaching her at home about being a strong Black woman, Jackson enrolled Kemikaa in the Sojourner Truth Adolescent Rites Society (STARS) in New York City.

“I had wondered whether my daughter would choose education over adolescent pregnancy,” Jackson says. “I wanted her to learn African history and spirituality. I wanted these values to be ingrained in her.”

Jackson seems to have gotten her wish. As Kemikaa and 13 other girls finished the ten-month program (which included classes on spirituality, sexuality, cooking-and even quilting), Jackson says she watched her daughter become a more confident, responsible young lady. And Kemikaa, too, was happy with the results. “I got a lot out of the group,” she says, “especially the self-love and self-esteem class, where we talked about our ,body temple, and how we feel about ourselves.”

Jackson is not alone in her desire to play a greater role in the socialization process of her child. According to Audrey “Ayo” Hunter, founder and executive director of the Kabaz (Black Jewels) Cultural Center, Inc., in Detroit, African-American rites-of-passage programs like hers have been going on since the 1960’s. Meanwhile, the Afrikan National Rites of Passage United Kollective, a St. Louis, Missouri-based umbrella organization that has been conducting these programs for ten years, has annual meetings to develop and hone African-American passage programs around the country.

“Historically our people have always used certain requirements or tasks to move on to the next level,” says Darryl “Kofi” Kennon, executive director of the Baltimore Rites of Passage Kollective. “African people have been doing rites for thousands of years.”

Bruce “Olamina Osatunde” Stevenson, assistant director of operations programming of the Baltimore rites group, adds “As a direct result of the enslavement of African people, our rites of initiation were stolen. Every culture has a process where children must become adults. We use these rituals to let children know that it’s time to take on roles and responsibilities.”

There are other benefits as well. Because negative images of the Black community abound, says Dr. Nsenga Warfield-Coppock, a Washington, D.C., psychologist who has written several books on African-American rites of passage, these programs help ensure that our children have healthy self-images. “Society does not provide a mirror for our kids to see themselves positively,” says Warfield-Coppock, whose three children have all participated in these rituals.

“With these programs,” sums up Dr. Wade W. Nobles, executive director of the Institute for the Advanced Study of Black Family Life and Culture in Oakland, “our children belong to something greater than themselves. And that’s important.”

ESSENTIALS OF A RITES PROGRAM

While there is no “correct” way to do it, Stevenson of the Baltimore Rites of Passage Kollective recommends the following components for a successful passage program:

* Let African traditions or influences be at the core. At the African Son-Rise Rites of Passage Manhood Training Program in Washington, D.C., for example, boys learn about the history and culture of Africans in the diaspora through lectures, films and visits to museums. * Involve parents, relatives and guardians in the process. For instance, the West Dallas Community Centers have bonding sessions between the children and parents or guardians to emphasize the importance of extended family and mentors. * Make the rites program an ongoing one. “Rites of passage are lifelong,” says Warfield-Coppock. Consequently, the process is continuous, spanning birth and adolescence to marriage, eldership and finally death. Although programs typically revolve around young adolescents, they can be performed with toddlers, 7-year-olds and late teens too. * Give the participants tasks to master. Use emotional, spiritual and physical tests to prepare children for adulthood. At Detroit’s Kabaz Center, children go to the woods to become more attuned with nature and also participate in precision drills that instill discipline. * Let the community witness the ceremony. At the STARS program, Kemikaa and her friends dressed in African attire for their final ceremony in New York City’s Abyssinian Baptist Church, where they shared speeches with their families and other witnesses. * Include rituals and ceremonial activities. Children at the Baltimore Rites of Passage Kollective, for instance, form a unity circle to give thanks to the Creator and offer libations to remember their ancestors.

PASSAGE PROGRAMS NATIONWIDE

While we can’t list all rites-of-passage programs around the country, here are a few: * Baltimore Rites of Passage, Kollective, Harambee Kollective Services, Inc., 3645 Cottage Ave., Baltimore MD 21215; (410) 462-1494. With “positive, preventive and proactive” curricula, the Kollective trains boys and girls (ages 7 to 18) to become strong, responsible adults. The program, which lasts at least 20 weeks, is broken down into five major phases: family orientation, rites of separation, curriculum, retreat and naming ceremony, and the transformation ceremony. * HAWK Federation, 175 Filbert St., Ste. 202, Oakland CA 94607; (510) 836-3245. HAWK–High Achievement, Wisdom and Knowledge–was designed initially as an African-based manhood training program, but today, HAWK’s female counterpart, the Aset Society, offers a parallel operation for girls. Based on a series of tests that each child must master to build courage, character and consciousness, Hawk targets 12-to-14-year-old boys. Both programs, however, are open to children between the ages of.5 and 18. * West Dallas Community Centers, Inc., 8200 Brookriver Dr., Ste. N704, Dallas TX 75247; (214) 634-7691. After receiving a $1.4 million grant in 1989, the West Dallas Community Centers developed a rites-of-passage program that focuses on youths who have been involved with the correctional system or in family intervention. The curriculum incorporates the Nguzo Saba (the seven principles celebrated during Kwanzaa), counseling, and language, karate and history classes. This coed program generally lasts two years and targets children between ages 9 and 17. * Kabaz (Black Jewels) Cultural Center, 3619 Mount Elliott, Detroit MI 48207; (313) 924-1140. Kabaz, which celebrated its thirtieth anniversary last year, claims to teach “the art of manhood and womanhood by connecting to our past.” The coed program, lasting from three months to a year, trains children starting at age 5, using a 12-formula Dlan to in still Afrocentric values and norms. * Concerned Black Men, Inc. (D.C. Chapter), 1511 K St., N.W., Ste. 1100, Washington DC 20005; (202) 783-5414. The five-year-old African Son-Rise Rites of Passage Manhood Training Program is a year-round operation in which 8-to-13-year-old boys meet two Saturdays a month. It’s based on five principles: economic intuition, leadership, health and physical fitness, cultural awareness and academic competence. * African American Women on Tour, 3914 Murphy Canyon Rd., Ste. 216-B, San Diego CA 92123-4423; (800) 560-AAWT. At five conferences around the country, AAWT holds rites-of-passage programs for 12-to-19-year-old girls. The three-day workshop focuses on self-empowerment, teen sexuality and African culture and history.

For information on how to set up a passage program in your community, contact one of the organizations listed above. If you want to read up on the topic, check out Transformation: A Rites of Passage Manual for African American Girls by Mafori Moore, Gwen Akua Gilyard, Karen King and Nsenga Warfield-Coppock (STARS Press, $15) and Bringing the Black Boy to Manhood: The Passage by Nathan Hare and Julie Hare (Black Think Tank, $6). Warfield-Coppock can also provide a wealth of information; she can be reached at Baobab Associates, Inc., 7614 16th St., N.W., Washington DC 20012.

COPYRIGHT 1996 Essence Communications, Inc.S

__________________

All is Well. Workin’ Hard – Tryin’ to Save Time for Fam. Check in Periodically.

Photos of members wearing Hands Off Assata Shirts 6/3/06

Buy: Afrikan Spirituality Books & Videos (300+ in stock)

Meaningless Blog #1
Blog # 2

#2 (permalink) 08-08-2005

STUDENT

Premium Member Join Date: Jul 2005

Location: Los Angeles

Posts: 2

Thanks: 0

Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

Gender: Sister

Rep Power: 0

HELP: Searching For Rites-of-Passage in LA

——————————————————————————–

Hello everyone. I am just coming out of the “Matrix”. I have a 10yr old son

that I want to help stay clear of it. I am looking for a rite-of-passage group

in LA to put him in. If anyone can help, please write back or phone me @

858-414-3434. Thank you so much for any and all assistance given.

Oh, I am also looking for an African based church, thanks again.

#3 (permalink) 08-08-2005

Im The Truth

Organizer Join Date: Jan 2004

Location: Atlanta, GA by way of Afrika

Posts: 5,910

Blog Entries: 11

Thanks: 2,684

Thanked 1,843 Times in 1,052 Posts

Gender: Brother

Rep Power: 591

Member’s Picture Albums

I worry the same about Atlanta, GA I heard about a rites-of-passage a while back but I’m not sure of the details or if it still exsist. If anyone knows let a brotha know.

Uhuru Sasa!!!

__________________

“If the enemy is not doing anything against you, you are not doing anything”

-Ahmed Sékou Touré

“speak truth, do justice, be kind and do not do evil.”

-Baba Orunmila

“Cowardice asks the question: is it safe? Expediency asks the question: is it political? Vanity asks the question: is it popular? But conscience asks the question: is it right? And there comes a time when one must take a position that is neither safe, nor political, nor popular – but one must take it simply because it is right.”

–Dr. Martin L. King

Get Involved!



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