Modern babes in fattening room
In a fresh and ambitious re-enactment of the Efik pre-marriage tradition, Fattening Room, six ladies drawn from different parts of Africa land in seclusion, writes AKEEM LASISI
At a time many people fear that the country’s many cultural practices are on the extinction plane, Fattening Room, a major bridal practice of the Efik People of Cross River, appears to have got a new lease of life. It will soon become a spectacle to be watched on the screen, through the acts of six modern ladies who have just experienced it.
The producer, EbonyLife, which has come up with some powerful reality shows in recent times, describes Fattening Room as an authentic experience set in the historically significant city of Calabar, also home to the famous Calabar Cultural Festival.
“The Fattening Room is unique to the Efik culture of Nigeria and is practised when young women enter a house of seclusion to learn everything a woman needs to know about running an honourable home, raising children that are as good as gold and managing to keep her husband happy and at home,” the company’s Director of Reality Programmes, Pamela Ofoegbu, notes.
The organisation believes that the time has come to discover the inner chambers of tradition that have always been reserved for women only, when six young ladies from across Africa enter the Fattening Room for the very first time.
She adds, “The ladies start the series in the strict Efik tradition and journey towards modern invention while always honouring their African roots. It has been an incredible journey back to time as we celebrate our rich African heritage on a beautiful trado-modern backdrop. Our ladies from Botswana, South Africa, Zambia, Nigeria, Ghana and Kenya emerged from the Fattening Room with a better appreciation of the Efik culture and tradition and also of themselves as strong African women full of value and worth.”
Just ‘escaping’ from the room are Roselyn Ashkar, a fashion model and journalist from Ghana; Sally Berold, an adventurer and freelance experiential marketing specialist from South Africa; Stephanie Unachukwu, a Nigerian designer and Patricia Kihoto, a singer, actress and radio personality from Kenya.
Others are Thsepo Maphanyanye, a publicity and public relations executive from Botswana, and Limpo Funjika, a business development manager and aspiring TV presenter from Zambia.
While the Series Producer at EbonyLife, founded by Mo Abudu, Priscilia Nzimiro, says producing the Fattening Room has been a wonderful and enlightening experience, with Content Director, Kenneth Gyang, lauding the treat as being engaging, the cast generally say the experience has been revealing.
Says Tshepo, “Participating in the fattening room has certainly been a surge of all kinds of emotions but best of all it has been without a doubt an incredible journey of discovery and a once in a lifetime opportunity of exposure to such a rich culture experienced alongside an amazing circle of young women from nations across Africa.Certainly one of my best experiences.”
For Limpo, it has provided her an opportunity to learn; and for Patricia, it has been a lot of fun although she concedes she has learnt a lot, even about herself.
Also says Stephanie, “I have had the opportunity to learn new skills in the short amount of time I’ve been here and look forward to the rest of the show and what it holds.”
Abudu congratulates all the participants and salutes the crew for the feat at producing Fattening Room. She notes, “It is a true testimony of ‘If you can think it, you can do it.’ As a team, during one of our strategy sessions about a year ago inTinapa, we wanted to develop and produce a reality show that showcased the rich culture of Calabar that is now home to EbonyLife TV and we thought what better way to do that, than the Efik tradition of The Fattening Room! And with the genius minds of the EbonyLifeTV team at work, we gave it a treatment that will simply wow everyone when it airs! We simply took an old Efik culture and gave it a modern twist. “
A vote for chastity
These South African Virgins Are Celebrating Their after being TESTED!
Posted by: Adebisi Adeniji
on April 18, 2013
in Campus Life
The term “virginity” has returned to be the discourse in certain circles. Coming in an age when obnoxious words reign supreme, of course, it could not have come at a better time.
Nowadays, it is hard to define who is a virgin in the real meaning of the word. The general meaning of the word “virgin” refers to a girl who keeps her chastity. Such a girl can be said not to have slept with the opposite sex at the time of being called a virgin.
However, people believe that such a girl is scarce in today’s world. Much emphasis is not placed on male virginity because the gender does not have hymen. The attention is on women.
According to an online statistics, 95 per cent of Nigerian teenagers cannot boast of being virgins. In an era where premarital and casual sex abound, girls who are as young as 14 have started experimenting with the forbidden fruit, causing an upsurge in teen pregnancies and abortions. Such act has also resulted in psychological breakdowns with the rejection of unwanted children.
There are many factors that contribute to the sexual decadence in our society. It should be noted that the mass media, which has, over the years, served as a source of socialisation, also has its negative effect on the society and the people. The media’s portrayal of sexual images to an already vulnerable audience has helped to increase the level of decadence.
Corporate advertisers are particularly guilty of this; bits of sensuality are infused into every advert they place or show on television. Even when it is not necessary, they employ skimpily dressed girls to advertise their products, passing a wrong message to the audience.
Peer pressure is also a factor. Teenagers, who do not indulge in the practice, are seen as greenhorns by their peers, who have had the experience. In order not to be the butt of jokes among their friends, some teenagers make wrong decisions.
Today’s forms of entertainment are also to blame. Songs with weird lyrics are the favourites of the young. Some of them would say: “We only love the beat; we don’t practise the message”. But, in reality, the songs are like radioactive wastes; they slowly destroy whoever listens to them. There is no way a 14-year-old girl would listen to songs, such as Lay on me, without having certain thoughts.
Some people have argued that virginity is not important in this globalisation age, claiming that in the olden days, girls married relatively early as soon as they reached puberty. Such early marriages, they argued, kept promiscuity at bay.
However, times and civilisation have changed the practice. Nowadays, the first 20 years of any girl are spent in the classroom. But, by that age, her features would have developed. It is reasonable for an unmarried 25-year -old woman to be sexually active.
It is so bad that many teenagers know some things about sex, which their parents probably might never know. A newspaper cartoon was circulated sometime ago, where a man was seen telling his teenage son that it was time for sex education. The boy answered: “Sure, what part do you want to know, daddy?”
Everyone has a reason for making certain decisions but it would be advantageous if such decisions are not based on external influence. Abstinence is the surest way of preventing sexually-transmitted diseases. The slogan “abstinence is the best method to prevent diseases” attests to this fact.
My advice to teenagers and the youth is that they must abstain from premarital sex. And those who are still chaste, should maintain this status. We must not allow ourselves to be the butt of jokes in the society.
There is a Yoruba adage that says anything that is protected doesn’t lose its value. We must not be deceived by the argument that virginity is an outdated value. It is not; it is a value we must nurture to ensure our society is free of decadence.
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Rites of passage: ceremonies can help our kids cope with today’s turbulent times
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Rites of passage: ceremonies can help our kids cope with today’s turbulent times
Rites of passage: ceremonies can help our kids cope with today’s turbulent times
Synade Jackson, a divorced mother of two, was filled with anxiety as her 14-year-old daughter, Kemikaa, moved toward womanhood. So to reinforce the lessons she had been teaching her at home about being a strong Black woman, Jackson enrolled Kemikaa in the Sojourner Truth Adolescent Rites Society (STARS) in New York City.
“I had wondered whether my daughter would choose education over adolescent pregnancy,” Jackson says. “I wanted her to learn African history and spirituality. I wanted these values to be ingrained in her.”
Jackson seems to have gotten her wish. As Kemikaa and 13 other girls finished the ten-month program (which included classes on spirituality, sexuality, cooking-and even quilting), Jackson says she watched her daughter become a more confident, responsible young lady. And Kemikaa, too, was happy with the results. “I got a lot out of the group,” she says, “especially the self-love and self-esteem class, where we talked about our ,body temple, and how we feel about ourselves.”
Jackson is not alone in her desire to play a greater role in the socialization process of her child. According to Audrey “Ayo” Hunter, founder and executive director of the Kabaz (Black Jewels) Cultural Center, Inc., in Detroit, African-American rites-of-passage programs like hers have been going on since the 1960’s. Meanwhile, the Afrikan National Rites of Passage United Kollective, a St. Louis, Missouri-based umbrella organization that has been conducting these programs for ten years, has annual meetings to develop and hone African-American passage programs around the country.
“Historically our people have always used certain requirements or tasks to move on to the next level,” says Darryl “Kofi” Kennon, executive director of the Baltimore Rites of Passage Kollective. “African people have been doing rites for thousands of years.”
Bruce “Olamina Osatunde” Stevenson, assistant director of operations programming of the Baltimore rites group, adds “As a direct result of the enslavement of African people, our rites of initiation were stolen. Every culture has a process where children must become adults. We use these rituals to let children know that it’s time to take on roles and responsibilities.”
There are other benefits as well. Because negative images of the Black community abound, says Dr. Nsenga Warfield-Coppock, a Washington, D.C., psychologist who has written several books on African-American rites of passage, these programs help ensure that our children have healthy self-images. “Society does not provide a mirror for our kids to see themselves positively,” says Warfield-Coppock, whose three children have all participated in these rituals.
“With these programs,” sums up Dr. Wade W. Nobles, executive director of the Institute for the Advanced Study of Black Family Life and Culture in Oakland, “our children belong to something greater than themselves. And that’s important.”
ESSENTIALS OF A RITES PROGRAM
While there is no “correct” way to do it, Stevenson of the Baltimore Rites of Passage Kollective recommends the following components for a successful passage program:
* Let African traditions or influences be at the core. At the African Son-Rise Rites of Passage Manhood Training Program in Washington, D.C., for example, boys learn about the history and culture of Africans in the diaspora through lectures, films and visits to museums. * Involve parents, relatives and guardians in the process. For instance, the West Dallas Community Centers have bonding sessions between the children and parents or guardians to emphasize the importance of extended family and mentors. * Make the rites program an ongoing one. “Rites of passage are lifelong,” says Warfield-Coppock. Consequently, the process is continuous, spanning birth and adolescence to marriage, eldership and finally death. Although programs typically revolve around young adolescents, they can be performed with toddlers, 7-year-olds and late teens too. * Give the participants tasks to master. Use emotional, spiritual and physical tests to prepare children for adulthood. At Detroit’s Kabaz Center, children go to the woods to become more attuned with nature and also participate in precision drills that instill discipline. * Let the community witness the ceremony. At the STARS program, Kemikaa and her friends dressed in African attire for their final ceremony in New York City’s Abyssinian Baptist Church, where they shared speeches with their families and other witnesses. * Include rituals and ceremonial activities. Children at the Baltimore Rites of Passage Kollective, for instance, form a unity circle to give thanks to the Creator and offer libations to remember their ancestors.
PASSAGE PROGRAMS NATIONWIDE
While we can’t list all rites-of-passage programs around the country, here are a few: * Baltimore Rites of Passage, Kollective, Harambee Kollective Services, Inc., 3645 Cottage Ave., Baltimore MD 21215; (410) 462-1494. With “positive, preventive and proactive” curricula, the Kollective trains boys and girls (ages 7 to 18) to become strong, responsible adults. The program, which lasts at least 20 weeks, is broken down into five major phases: family orientation, rites of separation, curriculum, retreat and naming ceremony, and the transformation ceremony. * HAWK Federation, 175 Filbert St., Ste. 202, Oakland CA 94607; (510) 836-3245. HAWK–High Achievement, Wisdom and Knowledge–was designed initially as an African-based manhood training program, but today, HAWK’s female counterpart, the Aset Society, offers a parallel operation for girls. Based on a series of tests that each child must master to build courage, character and consciousness, Hawk targets 12-to-14-year-old boys. Both programs, however, are open to children between the ages of.5 and 18. * West Dallas Community Centers, Inc., 8200 Brookriver Dr., Ste. N704, Dallas TX 75247; (214) 634-7691. After receiving a $1.4 million grant in 1989, the West Dallas Community Centers developed a rites-of-passage program that focuses on youths who have been involved with the correctional system or in family intervention. The curriculum incorporates the Nguzo Saba (the seven principles celebrated during Kwanzaa), counseling, and language, karate and history classes. This coed program generally lasts two years and targets children between ages 9 and 17. * Kabaz (Black Jewels) Cultural Center, 3619 Mount Elliott, Detroit MI 48207; (313) 924-1140. Kabaz, which celebrated its thirtieth anniversary last year, claims to teach “the art of manhood and womanhood by connecting to our past.” The coed program, lasting from three months to a year, trains children starting at age 5, using a 12-formula Dlan to in still Afrocentric values and norms. * Concerned Black Men, Inc. (D.C. Chapter), 1511 K St., N.W., Ste. 1100, Washington DC 20005; (202) 783-5414. The five-year-old African Son-Rise Rites of Passage Manhood Training Program is a year-round operation in which 8-to-13-year-old boys meet two Saturdays a month. It’s based on five principles: economic intuition, leadership, health and physical fitness, cultural awareness and academic competence. * African American Women on Tour, 3914 Murphy Canyon Rd., Ste. 216-B, San Diego CA 92123-4423; (800) 560-AAWT. At five conferences around the country, AAWT holds rites-of-passage programs for 12-to-19-year-old girls. The three-day workshop focuses on self-empowerment, teen sexuality and African culture and history.
For information on how to set up a passage program in your community, contact one of the organizations listed above. If you want to read up on the topic, check out Transformation: A Rites of Passage Manual for African American Girls by Mafori Moore, Gwen Akua Gilyard, Karen King and Nsenga Warfield-Coppock (STARS Press, $15) and Bringing the Black Boy to Manhood: The Passage by Nathan Hare and Julie Hare (Black Think Tank, $6). Warfield-Coppock can also provide a wealth of information; she can be reached at Baobab Associates, Inc., 7614 16th St., N.W., Washington DC 20012.
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#2 (permalink) 08-08-2005
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HELP: Searching For Rites-of-Passage in LA
Hello everyone. I am just coming out of the “Matrix”. I have a 10yr old son
that I want to help stay clear of it. I am looking for a rite-of-passage group
in LA to put him in. If anyone can help, please write back or phone me @
858-414-3434. Thank you so much for any and all assistance given.
Oh, I am also looking for an African based church, thanks again.
#3 (permalink) 08-08-2005
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I worry the same about Atlanta, GA I heard about a rites-of-passage a while back but I’m not sure of the details or if it still exsist. If anyone knows let a brotha know.
“If the enemy is not doing anything against you, you are not doing anything”
-Ahmed Sékou Touré
“speak truth, do justice, be kind and do not do evil.”
“Cowardice asks the question: is it safe? Expediency asks the question: is it political? Vanity asks the question: is it popular? But conscience asks the question: is it right? And there comes a time when one must take a position that is neither safe, nor political, nor popular – but one must take it simply because it is right.”
–Dr. Martin L. King
Monday, March 9, 2009
Physical Virginity Tests in Africa!!!!!!
To all Ladies out there – anyone of you dare to take this tests ??????????
Thousands of girls in South Africa are queuing up each month to prove that they are virgins, reviving an African tradition seen by many as the answer to the scourge of AIDS.
Bare-breasted teenagers wearing nothing but strings of beads and colourful loincloths regularly submit to the ordeal of having a stranger check if their hymens are intact, leaping for joy when the test confirms that they are still virgins.
(After the tests are done – these girls who passed are given certificates!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
Advocates say the revival of the rite, which had died out in all but a few rural areas late in the 20th century, is the most effective way to stop the spread of teenage pregnancies and the deadly HIV virus, believed to affect one in 10 South Africans.
Opponents argue that the practice is unconstitutional, unhygienic and violates the human rights of those being tested.
“Those who are behind the comeback…say that if we test young girls to see if they are virgins they will be fearful and will not engage in sexual activity,” said Phumelele Ntombela-Nzinande, former deputy head of the Commission for Gender Equality.
“We are arguing that this practice undermines the principles of equality, freedom and human dignity. It is difficult to tell whether or not a girl has had intercourse and after touching about 600 girls you can easily transfer infections.”
Girls between the age of seven and 26 lie on a mat in front of the woman doing the test, which only takes a few seconds. It is often carried out with bare hands and the tester seldom washes them.
Girls who pass get white stars pasted on their foreheads and a certificate confirming their virginity.
“We have come here to celebrate and keep our culture going,” 16- year-old Brenda Mkhize told Reuters television after her test.
“It’s better to be a virgin than to have AIDS and have a baby at the age of 16…we don’t see any reason to sleep with a guy, and I think I will stay like this until I get married.”
Mkhize was one of hundreds of girls attending a virginity celebration at a sports stadium near Durban in December.
Afterwards, the girls sang and danced in traditional Zulu fashion.
“We are here because we are proud of ourselves, because we are virgins,” another girl said.
Any volunteers from Asia for this tests??????
Well physical virginity tests were also reported in India as shown in the video above dated August 3rd, 2009. That so called tests received widespread condemnations by leaders and elders.
Posted by bebek at 4:07 AM
Labels: africa, tests, virginity
Checking it out, this news seems to back from 2000 or 2001.
But the thing that amazes me most is: why is the testing done in full glare of the general public??
March 9, 2009 9:21 AM
i dont know…… and it was done in south africa……. a well developed country…. and not in guinea buisseau or new caledonia or papua new guinea or congo!!!!!
March 9, 2009 11:03 AM
Very funny test system..
Canno be ..like this
Why they din’t use any room or clinic. Too privacy.
January 22, 2010 8:34 PM
Yes LanaBulu.. it’s really funny indeed!!!
March 7, 2010 12:15 AM
some low class family in iran do the test too. they do it before marriage and it is done by a gynacologist.there are many doctors who has made a futune out of fix the virginty!!!
October 15, 2010 5:55 AM
to mr or mrs. shame
Don’t bring your country down.cause it seems you should be iranian.it is never have been like that in iran.just if any future husband asks for the test!and it’s just 1 in 10.000 .wich may happen in any other asian or middle eastern country.any ways i agree with the fact that this test is very ugly and against women rights.
October 15, 2010 9:13 AM
Damn. Damn. Damn this horrible culture. As well as the cruel nature that inflicted all these injustice to women. Why don’t these ignorant women stand up to all this crap? Why?
October 15, 2010 3:00 PM
such a shameful test, not because it is taken in public, but, because it is a real violation of women rights.
To mr or mrs Anonymous 1! : I haven’t heard of such a test in iran either. But, you know it is still of high importance among many iranian families, causing a lot of women not to have sex before marriage.
October 15, 2010 8:35 PM
Thanks for the comment Sara, Anonymous and others… will appreciate if you all can tell me wether this practise is still being done in other parts of the world… Thanks very much
October 15, 2010 10:10 PM
آخه سی ساله که تخم اسراييل رو نتونستن بخورن. همه اش شعار مفته . فقط ملت ايران رو غارت کردن. کس اول آخر محمد و موسي.oder
October 15, 2010 10:20 PM
what kind of test you are talking about I had been in Iran for 34 years and I have never ever eared something about what you said. I agree that somebody are reluctant to marry with the girls who had sex before but never such a test have been conducted
October 15, 2010 11:58 PM
So at the end they have certificate,shows that they are VIRGIN, how great!
i’m 100% agree with shame, it is the bitter fact in iran. please notice before respond comment; he/she said :some low class family in iran… and unfortunately it is a hot business for some doctors.
October 16, 2010 2:18 AM
I am Iranian Lady and i never heared about a similar test in iran. i will be thank full if shame let us now where he/she live. in which city of iran you live? and why you try to change the reality?
October 16, 2010 3:21 AM
I don’t know why some guy deny this fact in Iran?
I am not from Iran but I have live in Iran,Isfahan city,for 5 years as Afghanistani illegal refugee. When I was in Iran,I saw many similarity between my country and Iranian culture. one of this similarity was virginity test that are done by groom’s mother in zafaf(first night of marriage ) and if bride was not virgin,as a result, marriage is canceled and this act is considered ignominy and dishonor for that girl and her family and even familiars.
this tradition stay alive in Afghanistan and Iran and many of neighbor countries.even in urban areas like capital city Tehran, Recreating virginity with surgery is widespread.
now I question from those guys who deny this fact why you deny?
in addition to this tradition there is another shameful and horrible tradition that only carry out between Kurds in middle east. I haven’t seen that in another place even my country and that practice is Female Circumcision. in the Kurdish areas of Iran and Iraq, supporters of the practice say it controls women’s sexual desires and makes them “clean.” Food prepared by uncircumcised women, for example, can be considered unacceptable.
I think we shouldn’t deny this fact and we should seek how solve this problems.
October 16, 2010 3:41 AM
Community Member said…
This shameful act has no place in Iran. Iranian society is developed and civilized enough not to let anyone to carry such barbaric act on its girls.
October 16, 2010 4:18 AM
It’s biggest lie that I heard…
it’s impossible to get this test in Iran, because its so rude for Iranian people to do this, whether in their religion or in their culture.
nobody cant stand this test in Iran…
October 16, 2010 7:36 AM
Excuse me last Anon, in the English language two negatives do not make a negative, but rather a positive. So saying that “nobody can’t stand” means “everybody can stand”. This is not the case in the Persian language though.
October 16, 2010 12:16 PM
This such tests have never taken a place in Iran! Of course some families are still concerned about virginity but they never have this kind of test!
The guy or girl from Afghanistan: Please never ever compare your culture with Persians! Everyone knows what’s going on in Afghanistan in terms of women’s right! You might have been a construction worker there and probably the people you used to socialize with, were at the level of those families who are concerned about virginity but I bet non of them have that kind of virginity test! If you want to talk a bout history and hundreds years ago, then we can bring up all the world including Europe that virginy was one of the most important issues among high class families! (i.e. Victorian era in England)while now its matter of low class familes. Iran already has passed its “Victorian” era but Afghanistan for sure has a long way to go!!
October 16, 2010 11:27 PM
Shame and Me: It’s a bitter fact that some people still care about virginity as so many families in Canada or Australia! But here we’re talking about “virginity test” not the importance of virginity! I am not Iranian but have lived in Iran for several years and never heard of such tests! Besides (no offense to Iranian girls) never seen a virgin as well :)) Which is a great proof that they (Iraninans) do not care about virginity at all!!
October 16, 2010 11:35 PM
Thank you very much to all of you who dropped by and took your time to read this blog.. I really appreciate it. But seriously, i dont think this virginity tests are being done in any part of Iran or other Asian countries. The photographic proof showed that this obnly happens n Africa – not all parts of Africa but certain parts.. Happy reading everybody.. Women, Men, Boys and Girls…
October 18, 2010 12:54 AM
yes. it is true 3o years ago, when i was in Iran, every girl before marriage ( aghd } accompanied with girl’s mom and one member of the groom family would go to a doctor to be exam for virginity. i don’t know about now these days. All respectable family did this. whoever disagree with this custom either they are very young or don’t know what they are taking about, even shah’s wife Farah have gone Thur this. this was done to stop any false TOHMAT accusation. but what is happening in Africa it is unbelievable, they didn’t do this way in Iran, always girl was exam by a doctor I am a Iranian girl, and I am from very educated and well off family.
December 6, 2010 7:38 PM
Thanks for the comment Anonymous… i am sure the Iranian government will do its best to protect the well beings, sanity & honour of all Iranian women.. Thanks for reading..
December 7, 2010 10:03 PM
Monday, October 04, 2010
BLACK VIRGINITY!- A VIRTUOUS YORUBA GIRL TELLS US WHY WE SHOULD KEEP OUR BLACK VIRGINITY!
from Punch Newspaper aug. 28,2010 page 24
KEEP YOUR VIGINITY AND GAIN SELF ESTEEM BY OLUWASEYE IGE
You never know the value of what you have until you lose it,so an old Yoruba proverb says.THE same goes for the current trend of giving away one’s purity amonst the youth. While the Nigerian society focuses more on the woman and demands of her a higher standard or morality,there is nothing wrong in a man toeing the same line and keeping himself for marriage.
SOUTH AFRICAN CULTURE HAS UPDATED THEIR TRADITIONAL RITES TO PROMOTE VIRGINITY AND THESE BLACK GIRLS ARE CELEBRATING THEIR VIRGINITY!
Nowadays a young man who has not ditched his virginity as a rite of passage before 16 is queer. Those who are still virgins after 18 often cannot boldly declare their status before their friends for fear of ridicule. They see themselves as outcasts and do not think that they are better off than their reckless peers who may be one day faced with a teenage pregnancy.
The dangers of a reckless life are endless. So many have contracted veneral diseases,aids,hiv, and others have had to pay for abortions that ended badly. But not one would tell you the nightmares they have been living. Instead you are regaled with tales of what you are missing!
The same situation is applicable to girls. You are not a big girl until you have given yourself away to some teen age boyfriend,possibly an undeserving young man who you might not have granted an audience were you older and wiser. Unfortunately so many young girls are falling for this ruse and they believe the only road to popularity is rolling with the guys.
The surest thing you can get by being careless with your body is disrespect from the very boys whom you gave yourself to! Preserving one’s virginity takes a lot of discipline,self control and fortitude ,virtues that would be demanded of you when you are married.
Contrary to what your friends say,being a virgin is perfectly normal. You will not fall sick because you did not have sex before 21. You will not even get sick if you do not have sex before 35 !
Self-esteem is a thing of the mind. If you feel good about yourself no one can put you down.
Pregnant teens,troubled teens and reckless teens are those that become depressed adults. These depressed adults eventually become a nuisance to society.
Do not join you friends to experiment with sex. It is like walking on red hot coal. Your legs will get burnt. You are saved the trouble of teenage pregnancy and the dangers of abortion So many have lost their wombs and would remain childless for life. RETAIN YOUR VIRGINITY AND RETAIN YOUR DIGNITY! It is not something you give away in the heat of an infatuation. It is something to be saved for a worthy life partner!
Posted by YEYE AKILIMALI FUNUA OLADE at 5:54 AM
Labels: AFRICAN AMERICANS, BLACK GIRLS, BLACK MEN, BLACK PEOPLE, BLACK VIRGINITY, BLACK WOMEN, VIRGINITY
Monday, October 04, 2010
BLACK VIRGINITY! -LET’S GO BACK TO IT AND SAVE BLACK GIRLS FROM SHAME AND UNHAPPINESS!
Virgin Girl – Keep Your Virginity, Gain Self Esteem
A virgin girl may not appreciate what she has. Some girls actually loose their virginity because of peer pressure. They give away their virginity just to fit in, just to belong.
Here’s some great news.
Contrary to what your friends say, being a virgin girl is perfectly normal. You’re perfectly normal as a virgin. You won’t fall ill because you didn’t have sex before twenty one. You won’t even get sick if you don’t have sex before thirty five.
Another thing. You don’t have to play along with your friends to do evil in other to feel great about yourself. You don’t have to belong to a certain circle of friends to be important.
You can achieve what you want to achieve and be anything you want to be without having to follow the wrong crowd. Self-esteem is a thing of the mind. If you feel good about yourself no one can put you down.
This is important because many young girls have veered into sexual misconduct simply to please their friends or to be rated as mature by friends.
Some other college girls have been lured to sexual misbehavior because they fear they may get sick if they do not have sex before they are twenty.
This may all sound silly and irrational to you. But ignorance breeds fear.
To compound matters, many parents do not feel comfortable discussing sexual matters with their children. When children ask questions relating to sexuality, many parents skim over the subject or dodge it outright.
That doesn’t help your children.
Since parents often fail to carry out their responsibility to their children, these innocent children turn to their peers for answers. And the answers they get are often distorted and far from the truth.
Pregnant teens, troubled teens, and reckless teens that become depressed adults. These depressed adults eventually become a nuisance to society.
You young woman reading this, I have this simple advice for you.
Do not join your friends to experiment with sex. It is like walking on red hot coal. Your legs will get burnt.
If you are a virgin girl, maintain your virginity. Your virginity is a source of pride to your parents. And when you get married as a virgin girl, your husband will be extremely proud of you.
Remaining a virgin girl until you marry establishes your marriage on sound footing of trust. Your husband knows he can trust you because you have self-discipline and love of righteousness.
It takes self-discipline, self-control, and love of God to stay morally upright in this decadent generation. When you are able to do that and maintain your virginity straight to marriage you gain self-esteem as a woman of substance.
Besides, you save yourself the trauma your wayward schoolmates experience. You save yourself the pain of teen pregnancy and fatherless baby. And you save yourself the pain of a wasted life.
Your friends are wrong when they say virginity is archaic and dark age morality.
Remaining a virgin girl is a thing of pride. As a virgin you can hold your head high anywhere you go. You have no need of shame.
You have self-confidence, self-esteem, poise and a feeling of fulfillment.
Wouldn’t you rather remain an innocent virgin girl and enjoy such honor than be tossed about because your stomach is bulging with pregnancy for a baby who has no father?
Yeah. I know you will do the right thing.
However, there are certain mistakes that young people your age make that undermine their decision to remain a virgin girl.
Young girls tend to be avid readers of romance stories.
Romance stories tend to create sexual passion and often cause their readers especially women to fantasize about life with Mr. Perfect.
These girls feel the passion in the stories and wish for a life just like that in the stories. The romance in the romance novels results in a buildup of sexual fantasy in many girls. A regular dose of sexual fantasy eventually results in a desire for the real thing.
Your guess is as good as mine.
Yes, romance novels make interesting reading. But many teach values that derail youths by creating desires that lead them astray.
Do you really want to remain a virgin girl?
Then stay clear of material that arouse your sexual desires. If you don’t, you will have trouble maintaining your virginity and self-esteem.
Make the right choice. It’s your life.